Rethinking Our Mission

I used to be a little bit (not a lot, but a little bit) judgmental of people who presented faith in a way that was too friendly. I mean, I’ve always wanted faith to seem approachable. I’ve never wanted it to seem like it was hidden behind a gate that only “the good” could get past. But I’ve always felt like accountability was important. I never cared for approaches that seemed to overlook the importance of things like accountability, confession, and the like.

These things are still important to me today- but I’m thinking about them a bit differently. I used to think that people wouldn’t hold themselves accountable…that we needed someone from the outside to remind us of the things that we needed to confess or take accountability over. This is what is changing for me. Over time I realize that most people are *very aware* of their struggles, shortcomings, character flaws, or misgivings.

Because of this, I no longer think we should be demanding people spend more time thinking about their flaws. I think we should be encouraging people that it’s okay to be flawed and that, if we support each other, we can move past them.

Again, it’s not that I don’t think accountability and confession are important- I’m just rethinking what they look like. I think we need both. But I think we first need an environment where we feel free to look inside and share without fear of being excluded.

To be continued…

Observe Yourself…

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."

Zora Neal Hurston

Lately there has been a lot of discussion about the current state of Christianity in our country. Christianity Today is doing a series of podcasts on the debacle of Mark Driscoll and his leadership style as a pastor. It's called "The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill." Don't know him? Here's another example we are all familiar with: the politicizing of evangelical America. Whether or not you are on board with it, many people have many opinions. And then there is that time Jerry Falwell Jr. encouraged students to arm themselves on the campus of a Christian college and quoted scripture (out of complete context) to support his position (which is the mildest example I could think of with him).

These are all very upsetting examples - either because we think they are examples of holiness and the way Christians are getting a bad rap, or because these examples do not sit well with our own perspective on spirituality.

Here is something I think we can agree on: because we bear the image of God (the Bible says so), people ought to be able, at least in theory, to see a bit of the character of God when they experience us. And for sure, love is such a defining characteristic of God, it only makes sense that we would be loving humans.

So try this: Observe yourself. Are you the kind of person that loves so well that people feel safe with you? Do they crawl out from behind their defenses and shields and armor of protection and share their authentic, vulnerable selves with you? I am not talking about being NICE. I'm talking about bearing the image of God! I am thinking about the capacity for treating everyone with respect and positive regard. There is room within this way of seeing for loving confrontation and accountability. There is room for wisdom and discernment.

This is worth thinking about and is far more useful than bantering about our opinions on the Mark Driscolls of the world.

Day 23: The Realities of God's Love

We continue on our 40 day sprint toward the celebration of the birth of Christ. Holding to long standing traditions, this time offers us the challenge of self-reflection. It’s a way to prepare for the party. One way that helps us do so is to practice various spiritual disciplines intended to increase our self-awareness. In particular, we maintain mindfulness about God’s steady disposition and inclination of love toward us. Otherwise, we will struggle to make some progress in the journey of transformation. Adam and Eve forgot this about God and ended up hiding behind fig leaves. This is not a good look. We must be prepared to wrestle with the reality of God’s love. Our own ambivalence about ourselves can sometimes cause us to project these harsh self-judgments onto God. This does NOT promote transformational work. Unlike Santa, God doesn’t just love us only when we’re nice. He loves us when we’re naughty too. Jesus loves the whole of us.

We wrestle long and hard in our community with what it means to live a holy life. Once in a while, someone will start thinking that holiness means that we should all strive to be SuperHuman – capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound – for the sake of Christ, of course. When that happens, fingers start wagging.

One Sunday when we were still gathering in person, someone fell asleep in church. This offended his accountability team, and they got up in his face, demanding that he make restitution for falling asleep in church. His behavior, according to his cohorts, made the whole team look bad. I won’t go into all the details, but let’s just say that the good news is, all this piety did not lead to any punches being thrown…a near miss.

No one asked me to weigh in on the subject, but if they had, this is what I would have said. “You know what? He was here. He wasn’t on the streets. He wasn’t in a crack house. He was sitting in church, with a group of people who have nodded off in odd places countless times. That’s what happens when people are homeless and go days without food (and use a lot of crack). He was here, in the community. He showed up. That’s a good day.”

I’m much more impressed that he showed up than concerned about whether he stayed awake. I don’t consider falling asleep in church offensive. I tend to think it is a natural response for a guy who has been fed a good meal, is sitting in a heat-filled room surrounded by folks that he is pretty confident aren’t going to beat him up or steal from him. We are privileged and yes, responsible to love the whole self of others, not just the ones who can stay awake through the sermon!

Day 23: The Realities of God's Love

We continue on our 40 day sprint toward the celebration of the birth of Christ. Holding to long standing traditions, this time offers us the challenge of self-reflection. It’s a way to prepare for the party. One way that helps us do so is to practice various spiritual disciplines intended to increase our self-awareness. In particular, we maintain mindfulness about God’s steady disposition and inclination of love toward us. Otherwise, we will struggle to make some progress in the journey of transformation. Adam and Eve forgot this about God and ended up hiding behind fig leaves. This is not a good look. We must be prepared to wrestle with the reality of God’s love. Our own ambivalence about ourselves can sometimes cause us to project these harsh self-judgments onto God. This does NOT promote transformational work. Unlike Santa, God doesn’t just love us only when we’re nice. He loves us when we’re naughty too. Jesus loves the whole of us.

We wrestle long and hard in our community with what it means to live a holy life. Once in a while, someone will start thinking that holiness means that we should all strive to be SuperHuman – capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound – for the sake of Christ, of course. When that happens, fingers start wagging.

One Sunday when we were still gathering in person, someone fell asleep in church. This offended his accountability team, and they got up in his face, demanding that he make restitution for falling asleep in church. His behavior, according to his cohorts, made the whole team look bad. I won’t go into all the details, but let’s just say that the good news is, all this piety did not lead to any punches being thrown…a near miss.

No one asked me to weigh in on the subject, but if they had, this is what I would have said. “You know what? He was here. He wasn’t on the streets. He wasn’t in a crack house. He was sitting in church, with a group of people who have nodded off in odd places countless times. That’s what happens when people are homeless and go days without food (and use a lot of crack). He was here, in the community. He showed up. That’s a good day.”

I’m much more impressed that he showed up than concerned about whether he stayed awake. I don’t consider falling asleep in church offensive. I tend to think it is a natural response for a guy who has been fed a good meal, is sitting in a heat-filled room surrounded by folks that he is pretty confident aren’t going to beat him up or steal from him. We are privileged and yes, responsible to love the whole self of others, not just the ones who can stay awake through the sermon!

How Do You Show Up?

Thus far in these blogs we’ve moved from isolation to connection.  We talked about finding support and holding; we talked about the awkwardness of approaching a person, group or community for support only to find out that they weren’t handing out that particular kind of support.  Or, in a really spooky turn of events, going for support and finding a community that begs you to support them.

In all these scenarios, honesty and vulnerability really help.  It can mend small tears in the tapestry of tribal life when we all understand each other’s needs and wants.  Usually a fit can be found - even if it takes a while.

Eventually, at some point, if we are going to mature and thrive, we need to get a handle on our readiness to move from asking to be served and becoming a servant.  This, it turns out, does not require anything formal, like a job description, because this is more of a calling.  

At some point, whether it is 10 weeks or 20 years as part of a community, a pivot might be appropriate, even required, in some communities based on their value propositions.  Listen up - no pivot is required in a community like ours.  Pivoting is not our core value.  BUT.  It is a necessary step in the transformation process.  No one needs to take that step, especially if they need support and holding in our community.  But it is good for everyone to sort of understand that going into the relationship.  

At some point it becomes more blessed to give than to receive if one is going to develop into a person who can live in mutuality with others.  There may come a time when we look around and say, “This is not ABOUT what I need or want.”  This is not the ONLY feeling one would have in a community, because we all oscillate between needing and wanting and giving and blessing others with our Super Powers.  But it would seem that in the grand scheme of things, the lottery winners among us are those who have the capacity to sprinkle in giving and blessing with their wanting and needing.  

If this is true, then there is some structure to our taking responsibility plus seeking accountability.  Stay tuned.  We’ll get into that tomorrow.  For now, ask yourself:  how do I show up for life?  Do I state my needs and wants so as to help my community understand how to respond?  Do I have no needs and wants, just a ton of expectations of others?  Am I agile - able to receive and give as needed?  Where am I looking for support and who am I supporting?  How do others experience me?