How Do You Show Up?
Thus far in these blogs we’ve moved from isolation to connection. We talked about finding support and holding; we talked about the awkwardness of approaching a person, group or community for support only to find out that they weren’t handing out that particular kind of support. Or, in a really spooky turn of events, going for support and finding a community that begs you to support them.
In all these scenarios, honesty and vulnerability really help. It can mend small tears in the tapestry of tribal life when we all understand each other’s needs and wants. Usually a fit can be found - even if it takes a while.
Eventually, at some point, if we are going to mature and thrive, we need to get a handle on our readiness to move from asking to be served and becoming a servant. This, it turns out, does not require anything formal, like a job description, because this is more of a calling.
At some point, whether it is 10 weeks or 20 years as part of a community, a pivot might be appropriate, even required, in some communities based on their value propositions. Listen up - no pivot is required in a community like ours. Pivoting is not our core value. BUT. It is a necessary step in the transformation process. No one needs to take that step, especially if they need support and holding in our community. But it is good for everyone to sort of understand that going into the relationship.
At some point it becomes more blessed to give than to receive if one is going to develop into a person who can live in mutuality with others. There may come a time when we look around and say, “This is not ABOUT what I need or want.” This is not the ONLY feeling one would have in a community, because we all oscillate between needing and wanting and giving and blessing others with our Super Powers. But it would seem that in the grand scheme of things, the lottery winners among us are those who have the capacity to sprinkle in giving and blessing with their wanting and needing.
If this is true, then there is some structure to our taking responsibility plus seeking accountability. Stay tuned. We’ll get into that tomorrow. For now, ask yourself: how do I show up for life? Do I state my needs and wants so as to help my community understand how to respond? Do I have no needs and wants, just a ton of expectations of others? Am I agile - able to receive and give as needed? Where am I looking for support and who am I supporting? How do others experience me?
