Closing Thoughts on Positive Faith

In closing out this series on positive faith- here’s what I might like you to takeaway, if I had my druthers. (If you haven’t read the series visit: northstarcommunity.com/devotionals to see what I’m on about).

Faith doesn’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) about:

-Living in shame

-Viewing yourself as bad, wrong, or evil

-Avoiding “bad” behaviors

-Blaming ourselves or others for suffering

Faith can be about:

-A God who comforts, loves, protects, and provides

-Building each other up

-Encouraging each other

-Looking for the good in each other

-Growing as a result of these

Faith and, and should be, a sense of connection to God, our neighbor, ourselves, and even creation itself. This connection provides a sense of peace about our place in the world- as well as a source of joy and hope. Faith encourages us to continue to look life directly in the face, even when it’s difficult, and to refuse to back down. Not because we’re strong or macho, but because we believe God will give us what we need to get from one moment to the next, and because we believe that surviving is the ultimate display of faith in action.

God has designed each of us. You have gifts, and strengths. You have something to offer. Too often faith communities have asked us to ignore, or even suppress, these things because of some wrong-headed notion that it might somehow take attention away from God.

I say no. The things that make you unique only point to beauty and depth of God’s creativity. So, please, if you can, embrace everything that makes you you. I kinda think that’s what God wants.

Affirm Everything and Everyone You Can

FYI- this is part of a series on how to live out our faith in a positive way. Click here to get caught up.

I facilitated a grief group early in 2021 and one of the things I joked with that group about is that I’m becoming an affirmation evangelist. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person that has said, “Yep, I feel completely and totally affirmed. I’m affirmed everywhere I go, at work, at home, my kids, my wife, everyone heaps affirmation on me.”

Most people struggle to feel affirmed. The reason for this is simple: We don’t offer much explicit affirmation.

And, at the same time, most people really appreciate affirmation. Affirmation is motivating- it helps you feel like your efforts are recognized, and this creates a sense that you belong.

I am, admittedly, terrible at affirming. I’m trying to do it more often- and I think I’m succeeding…but only because I used to affirm not at all. So, something is better than nothing…I guess.

Here are some tips for affirming:

-Make mental notes of things you appreciate about others

-State those mental notes out loud to people who do the things you appreciate. But, here’s the trick, don’t use any “value” language. Don’t say that what the other person did is “good,” or “better,” or even “great.” Simply state it as an observation.

When we use words like, “good,” “better,” or, “best,” we are unintentionally communicating that we’re the ones with the right to judge the qualities of another person- so it sounds condescending even though we don’t mean it to be. It’s sort of the same as saying, “I’m proud of you.” It’s a really nice sentiment- but it’s the same idea- it kind of also says, “I’m higher up than you.”

Here are some examples-

Instead of: You’re a good cook.

Try: Your food is delicious.

Instead of: You showed good perseverance.

Try: You are really diligent.

The trick is to look for qualities that another person displays and to simply notice them. By “qualities” I mean anything you notice and appreciate about another person. Such as: reliability, empathy, timeliness, attentiveness, helpfulness, and so on. Pick a trait that you see in another person and just say, “You are ______.”

You may think that’s too simple and won’t make much of an impact. I assure you- doing this regularly will make far more of an impact than trying to heap praise on a very occasional and irregular basis.

Finding Your Yes!

My grandson is crystal clear about what he loves. When he came to visit me on vacation, here are a few things he reported loving - with great gusto.

“Meme, aren’t these power lines awesome?”

“Meme, isn’t that deer so cute?”

“Meme, is that the lake? It is so pretty!”

“Meme, look at those stars! They are amazing!”

Meme, I am so happy to see you!”

“Meme, this kitchen is cool!”

“Meme, this beach is fun!”

“Meme, I want Azeranka to win!”

He was full of YESES. He was attuned to what he loved and in it, he found great pleasure.

In Eugene Peterson’s translation of a passage in Corinthians says,

“Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us.”

I often hear prayer in the words of normal conversations, especially in the Yeses.

A Yes is hopeful. A Yes is responsive. A Yes is the way we express agreement among us. A Yes is powerful and promising.

What do you say Yes to? You have a Yes within you, a Yes that is a sure thing in Christ. It is God’s affirmation. In a world that expects Nos - what can you find to lend your Yes to? If you can find your Yes, you find your work. If you find your Yes, you can find your courage and confidence and will to live, even thrive.

The Power of Positivity...

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see.  I sought my god, but my God eluded me.  I sought my brother and I found all three. 

Unknown

One available avenue for coronovirus entertainment this summer has been playing tennis in various pairings as a family.  Distracted by the research presentations of Dr. Bjork from the night before, I was moving slowly the following morning, dawdling in my mind palace.  Pete and I headed out anyway for a game of tennis.  Which, for those of you who do not know, I always lose.  It was sweltering by 8:30 a.m. and neither of us was particularly happy to arrive at our community association’s tennis courts to find two guys playing on the shady ones.  We trudged over to the sunny court and made the best of it.  These guys were chatty and bantered with one another after every single shot.  At first, I was annoyed.  Once I actually listened to them, I was intrigued.

“Nice shot!”

“Wow!  That is the play of the day; you nailed that cross-court shot!”

“Your serve is so good this morning, I am starting to think I need to wave a white flag and surrender!”

On and on and on it went - endless compliments and words of affirmation.  Questionable line call?  No Problem.  “Hey, I think it was in!”  Response:  “No, I cannot take that point, I’m sure it was out.”  Reply:  “Well, let’s play it over!” …”Ok!”  

Who ARE these guys, I wondered?  Business partners?  Best friends?  New acquaintances trying to impress one another? No, no and definitely not.  After finishing their set, they offered us the shady court and our switch over was the fastest either of us moved all day.  As they were leaving, one guy referred to the other as “my brother”.  It was all I could do to resist asking for an autograph or an interview on the spot.  I bet these guys are resilient; I bet they thrive in life.  What would your life be like if you had a sibling who enjoyed your wins more than their own?

 (We had a slight email snafu, get caught up here)