Finding YOUR Joy!

Without doing my therapy via a blog post, which is really boring and not helpful, let me say this: I found a hard thing to do that fit with what I was learning about myself in therapy. Here's the thing: I needed to find my joy. MY joy. I enrolled in a program that required me to spend money on myself, attend workshops and retreats and write papers and engage with strangers to work toward a goal. It benefited no one but me. It required others to "give" me support while I was "being" a person in search of her joy.

Today, as I write this, I have recently completed my program. In a few minutes, I will push a button (or whatever it requires) and my new website will be launched that will allow me to pursue my same passion in a new and different way. I am pretty darn joyful.

I had many second-thoughts and frustrations along the way. This work required me to dig deep and shift from "human giver" to "human being."

I have accidentally stumbled into the benefits and joys that only came when I was willing to admit that many of my old ways of thinking, doing and feeling were not working for me anymore. Once upon a time, I believe they helped me survive. But I wanted to move beyond that. I want to be a person who thrives.

What's not working for you? What failure do you need to acknowledge?

Preach Him Crucified

"Do I not conquer my enemy," said Abraham Lincoln, "By making him my friend?"

This said by the guy who was gunned down in Ford's Theatre in Washington D.C. on April 14th, 1865.

As I so often say, this is a terrible sales pitch for following Jesus but Lincoln's words are imitations of Christ's teachings. Paul reiterates this in Romans 12 - be devoted, honor one another, be joyful, patient and faithful. Be hospitable, rejoice and mourn as appropriate, hang out with the rabble, do right and do not repay evil with evil, live at peace and do not seek revenge.

Preach him crucified.

Because these instructions (and more) continually remind us that we are losers in life if we define winning as getting our way or expecting to be treated well by others or demanding that Jesus prosper us just because we love him. No, that's not the Jesus way. We are to feed our enemy and give him water if he is thirsty. Overcome evil with good.

Sometimes this means rumbling a bit. Sometimes it will require loving others by telling the truth even when we know it will stir up feelings that, shall we say, are less than pleasant? But this is what love is. It is imitating Christ. It is loving when our feelings do not justify it. Sometimes love is tender, sometimes it is....firm.

Once when I was a kid I got glass in my foot while swimming at a public pool. I was at my grandmother's house visiting and I knew that if anyone was going to help me remove the glass - it was not going to be her. So I went next door and my beloved friends' mother, Dot, removed the glass without flinching. She was a sturdy woman that way. In that moment, I needed someone who could do hard things, which included pulling a shard of glass out of a frightened child's foot. It was as loving as serving me a double scoop of homemade ice cream - which my grandmother did later that evening.

Easter is a lot about resurrection but it is also about crucifixion. Preach him crucified.