Breathing with Intention

As I mentioned in previous posts, my physician, apprised of my situation, continued to be amazed that my bloodwork did not reflect a woman living in high, prolonged stress. But I was indeed living with grief and loss and the kind of stress that made me want to run and kick and bite and scratch. Exercise helped but so did breathing. The practices that I had used for years were mitigating the effects of my stress on my body but I knew it was only a matter of time before my body would break down.

Deep, slow breaths down regulate the stress response especially if the exhale is long and slow. This is not helpful in high stress situations, but it is effective if you are living with the aftermath of trauma. Breathe in, count to five, hold the breath for five, exhale for five...there you go, you just helped move the needle on your stress cycle.

I tend to do my mindfulness practices in the morning. Maybe this is ideal because no one has done anything quite yet to set my ever loving last nerve on edge. But I suspect that anytime is better than not doing it at all.

How often do you breathe in and out with intention?

Sit and Listen to Your Heart

"There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready be filled. You feel it, don't you?" Rumi

I hope you can find some time to sit in silence. Feel your heartbeat. Know that your life is richer than your bank account and more meaningful than the experiences you long for in order to add some spice to life. I pray you know that you are complete as you are and a relationship is not required for you to feel complete.

You are whole.

You are not broken beyond repair.

Repair may be needed but not because you are broken. Restoration is necessary because we are human and we break. The world is often hostile to the things of God. Created in his image, we will have troubles. (There is a teaching of Jesus that specifically reminds us of this.). This trouble is not because other people hate God - so this is not a persecution thing. It is a human condition.

Sit and listen to your heart. Watch and wait for the Lord to reveal himself to you in your ordinary, everyday life. Cooperate with him. Test and see if maybe Rumi is onto something.

Checking Up and Checking In

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

Yesterday I gave a series of sample questions to ask yourself periodically as a sort of mental and emotional “check up”.  This is a way of getting to the bottom of the question, “How am I doing?”  

Why do I recommend this?  

Triggers are not always attached to some distant thing in the past.  Sometimes, as is the case with what I described between myself and Brittany, triggers are the result of some powerful stressor that comes from some other place in life.  It is easy, at times, to move ahead with life so quickly that we do not create time or space to consider how we are doing.  This means there are times where we legitimately do not know (or simply are not consciously aware of) how we are doing.  If we don’t know, we’re unlikely to respond to triggers and difficult situations well.  We’re simply unprepared.  

Scott from the future:

Checking in with yourself is essentially a meditative, mindful exercise that helps you go through life more aware. When you’re more aware you can more quickly deal with the actual problems you have (as opposed to the surface-level problems like dirty dishes). You can have more open, honest conversations that increase and deepen intimacy. You can resolve conflict easier, you are better prepared to empathize, etc. It’s a good idea.

Quieting Your Mind with Mindful Walking

Not all of us can sit and meditate. No worries! There are other options. Walking meditations are fantastic. Mindful walking - without music, conversations, audible books - is a wonderful way to quiet our minds and heal our brains.

As we walk, pay attention to our feet hitting the ground; notice the world around us. The fall season is a lovely time to mindfully recall God’s pattern - living, dying, rebirth. Listening to our breath can remind us that we are alive. Colors, sounds, smells stimulate our senses and increase our capacity for creative problem solving (later, not while we are walking!!). When our mind wanders, we can take a deep breath and reset. Pause for a few beats and then continue our stroll.

Today, I pray that we receive the healing, guidance and strength necessary for our day’s journey.

Awareness and Acceptance

Mindful awareness seeks to foster acceptance rather than judging one’s life experiences as right or wrong, good or bad, sick or well. It allows us to learn how to see our thoughts as “just thinking,” and teaches how to put our thoughts in their proper place. Just thoughts. Not the facts, hot commands, not instructions.

“The practice of mindfulness defuses our negativity, aggression, and turbulent emotions… Rather than suppressing emotions or indulging in them, here it is important to view them, and your thoughts, and whatever arises with an acceptance and generosity that are as open and spacious as possible.”*

One professor of psychology, John Teasdale, conducted a study using mindfulness meditation as a relapse prevention treatment for depression. He found it extremely effective. Mindfulness is not intended to change the content of our thoughts, but our attitude and relationship to the thought.

In some Christian communities, mindfulness and meditation are met with a bit of suspicion. Certainly this is not true for everyone, but it is a stigma that bears mention. Tomorrow, we will talk more about the practice, but for today, pray with me?

God, you have taught us in your word that we do not have to understand prayer or even be good at it in order to receive the gifts you have for us...the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us through wordless groans.

Romans 8:26 NIV

Spirit, keep groaning! We so desperately need divine intervention today.

Amen.

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*Sogyal, S. (1992). The Tibetan book of living and dying. New York: Harper & Row, 123.