Checking Up and Checking In

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

Yesterday I gave a series of sample questions to ask yourself periodically as a sort of mental and emotional “check up”.  This is a way of getting to the bottom of the question, “How am I doing?”  

Why do I recommend this?  

Triggers are not always attached to some distant thing in the past.  Sometimes, as is the case with what I described between myself and Brittany, triggers are the result of some powerful stressor that comes from some other place in life.  It is easy, at times, to move ahead with life so quickly that we do not create time or space to consider how we are doing.  This means there are times where we legitimately do not know (or simply are not consciously aware of) how we are doing.  If we don’t know, we’re unlikely to respond to triggers and difficult situations well.  We’re simply unprepared.  

Scott from the future:

Checking in with yourself is essentially a meditative, mindful exercise that helps you go through life more aware. When you’re more aware you can more quickly deal with the actual problems you have (as opposed to the surface-level problems like dirty dishes). You can have more open, honest conversations that increase and deepen intimacy. You can resolve conflict easier, you are better prepared to empathize, etc. It’s a good idea.