Piano Lessons and Letting Go…

Our grandson Christian is taking piano lessons. So am I. He and I agree that we do not like to work on correct fingering technique. Sometimes it's ok to cross that thumb under my middle finger and continue up a scale, but other times my fingers have a different opinion than the writer of the music lesson.

He and I were talking about our shared dislike for being told what fingers to use and he asked a great question. "Who even decided which finger we have to use Meme?" I mean, come on - the kid is smart but I have more experience!

Here's the thing. I do not know who decides the fingering system for piano lessons, but I know one thing for sure: they know more about playing the piano than I do. So I suck it up and follow the instructions. Meanwhile, Christian wants to talk to a higher authority about this miscarriage of justice. If this continues, I will make more progress than Christian will with my technique. I will be less frustrated. I will have few appointments with the higher ups. Although I appreciate his curiosity and I admire his desire to "do it his way", I am old enough to know that some things are NOT worth fighting over. Fingering on piano music is one of those things.

Sometimes all of us care TOO MUCH about things that do not matter. This saps us of energy for the things that really, really matter. And although sometimes questioning authority, taking initiative and finding creative new approaches to old ways of doing things is awesome - when over-used, it can make life harder than it needs to be for everyone.

I am in the process of explaining such things to Christian. I hope I will have many more opportunities to engage him in conversations about what to care about and what to let go. It has certainly taken me decades to reach this conclusion, but my life is more serene as a result of caring less.

What about you? What have you cared too much about? What do you need to let go of?

The Death of Illusion

Every disappointment offers the possibility for a decent reframe. Now, we can rush to cover our angst and anxiety by finding a way to reframe negatives into positives. I so wish I had this natural capacity! But there are other options. We can consider the possibility that disillusion is the death of illusion and when put that way, it may be better to excavate for a more profound rewrite of our expectations than to spackle over the deep cracks in our foundational walls of belief.

Jesus did respond to John's question posed in the gospel of Matthew. (When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" Matthew 11:2 NIV)

He asked his disciples to go and tell John what their observations of Jesus are - the blind are given their sight back, the lame are walking around unassisted, the lepers are getting a thorough cleaning, the deaf can now hear and the dead are raised. Oh, and the poor have good news brought to them while everyone who manages to not take offense at Jesus is blessed. (Matthew 11:2-10)

Blessed are those who see what God is doing because they have let go of their illusions about what they think. he should be accomplishing. Blessed are those who find joy in the ONE who is healed, the few who manage to not take offense at Jesus' outrageous claims to love the unlovely. Blessed are those who set aside their expectations and pick up on the vibe that Jesus keeps throwing down. The truth is, I had a poor image of God. I expected him to beckon to my call. He is not so easily distracted.

What expectations of God, yourself and others are tripping you up these days?

Disillusioned

Anyone who knows me understands that as of late, I have questioned my purpose for living. I have asked my husband and children, "Did I ruin our lives when I agreed to leave our cozy nest at 'big church' and strike out on this pilot project in 1999 that is still chugging along in 2021?" No one has exactly given me a ringing endorsement that no, indeed not, I did not ruin our lives. Instead, they have hugged me and allowed me to process my own grief and suffering with a lot of support. And peanut butter.

As usual, the scriptures find a way to sit with me.

When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" Matthew 11:2 NIV

John the Baptist, the guy who foretold the coming of Christ and preached repentance with vim and vigor, wants to know what the heck is going on here. He's in prison NOT for following his call to declare the coming of the Lord. He's locked up because he condemned Herod for marrying his brother's wife. Soon John's head will roll, quite literally, because a wicked mother encouraged her daughter to ask for his head on a platter FOR HER BIRTHDAY! Sheesh. Jesus is NOT doing what John expected the Messiah to accomplish.

Jesus was SUPPOSED to end political oppression. Jesus was SUPPOSED to bring in a new ruler and a new authority. Jesus was SUPPOSED to clean up the corruption and get rid of the bad guys.

Last night Pete and I were out walking and I was reviewing my expectations for the last 22 years of my life. Early on, I would end most messages with a rousing, "We can do this!" Until I learned we could not. It seemed so...simple and clear to me back then and in some ways I see it the same today. IF we could pull together and commit to sacrificing for the greater good, we COULD make a difference. We COULD provide resources for suffering families. And - we can and we do. But it is not at all like I expected.

I want treatment to work and I want people to want to work at getting healed. I do. And treatment does work - sometimes. And people are able to manage their use disorders - more often than we hear about on social media. But I want it all NOW. No more deaths by suicide; no more overdoses; no more families ripped apart. Surely Jesus, who talks more about love than sin, who hangs out with my kind of people, who performs miracles and just all around GETS IT - wants the same thing?

Here's what we end up with. We end up with a God who supports us while we find our own answers. We get a God who allows us the privilege of living with the consequences of our actions. We end up with a God who holds us in his big hand when we wonder if we have ruined our life without feeling the need to offer false comfort.

Man, this faith stuff is a lot harder than I thought it was when I used to sing, totally off-key, "Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey." Tomorrow, we'll consider why this is not bad news. Stay tuned.