A Friendship with Jesus…

In the gospel of John, Jesus invites us into his circle of friendship. In this circle of love we can expect the following: love, honesty, loyalty, mutuality, intimacy, companionship and more. We’ll get to the more in a minute, but first, consider this:

A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends.

You are my friends, if you do what I command you.

I shall not call you servants any more, because a servant does not know his master’s business; I call you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have learned from my Father.

You did not choose me, no, I chose you.

John 15:13-16

After the initial rush of gratitude for all that friendship offers, we need to pause and count the cost. Jesus was offering friendship with conditions. In human friendships following commands should NEVER be part of the equation! But with Jesus, he is saying that friends of his have common values, listen to his voice, and follow him. When we accept friendship with Jesus we are also surrendering to know everything Jesus learned from God. We are signing up for the kinds of friendship God endorses.

Friendship involves suffering. It requires humility. It invokes the opportunity for patience.

Over twenty years ago when I signed up to participate in Northstar Community I had one of those rare moments when I sensed God explicitly giving me directions and offering me the opportunity to be his friend and follow him. It was a warm summer night in 1998, the sun had set, and a group of us had just left a meeting with our beloved Pastor James Pardue. We paused under the portico that stands between the church and the parking lot. It occurred to us that permission might indeed be granted for us to launch this new pilot project. It came to me in a flash of insight that this might “work” and perhaps it would last longer than 8 weeks. I did not want to be gone from my routine, the weekly spiritual food found in Jim’s carefully crafted sermons, my tenth grade Sunday School class that I loved teaching with my friends Rob and Jean, being on the same schedule and in the same building as my kids. But deep down in my heart, I knew something else. I knew that if we started this new thing, I had to be willing to stay for the long haul. Creating space for suffering folks would mean, for me at least, that if they gathered, I could not abandon the effort. I think I said to Pete, “You know, if we join this effort, and if it works, we have to be committed. This is not the kind of thing you enter with half a heart.” I had my own baggage and a certain lethargy in my feet about taking on this kind of project. But my heart had other ideas about spiritual friendship knowing that God invites us to lay down our life for not only our friends (the families of this church we had been in for decades) but HIS friends. I believe that once we experience being chosen by God for friendship, it becomes necessary to be the kind of person who chooses others - whether or not it suits our preferences.

Day 17: Kindred Spirits

O Jonathan, in your death I am stricken, I am desolate for you, Jonathan my brother. Very dear to me you were, your love to me more wonderful than the love of a woman.

2 Samuel 1:26

In the Old Testament, the story of the friendship between David and Jonathan is epic. Jonathan, Saul’s son, finds himself loyal to his friend David while his father seeks to kill David. Both men were loyal, took risks for each other and were tenderly devoted to one another. Ultimately, this friendship bonds these men’s families for all time (1 Samuel 20:42). As this year draws to a close, I would ask that we all set aside some time and consider our friendships.

Love one another.

True friends are not obligated to each other, they share an affinity and delight in each other that is profound and life enriching. David and Jonathan cared about each other. They clicked. This kind of friendship is bigger than shared interests or values. C. S. Lewis said that friendship comes from meeting a “kindred spirit.” Friends show their love for each other in endless ways.

Spiritual friends have a central desire for the blessing of the other person. Friends support the well-being (emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical) of each other.

Love one another – the gift that keeps on giving.

Day 17: Kindred Spirits

O Jonathan, in your death I am stricken, I am desolate for you, Jonathan my brother. Very dear to me you were, your love to me more wonderful than the love of a woman.

2 Samuel 1:26

In the Old Testament, the story of the friendship between David and Jonathan is epic. Jonathan, Saul’s son, finds himself loyal to his friend David while his father seeks to kill David. Both men were loyal, took risks for each other and were tenderly devoted to one another. Ultimately, this friendship bonds these men’s families for all time (1 Samuel 20:42). As this year draws to a close, I would ask that we all set aside some time and consider our friendships.

Love one another.

True friends are not obligated to each other, they share an affinity and delight in each other that is profound and life enriching. David and Jonathan cared about each other. They clicked. This kind of friendship is bigger than shared interests or values. C. S. Lewis said that friendship comes from meeting a “kindred spirit.” Friends show their love for each other in endless ways.

Spiritual friends have a central desire for the blessing of the other person. Friends support the well-being (emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical) of each other.

Love one another – the gift that keeps on giving.

Day 18: The Gift of Presence

One of the best gifts any of us could give or receive this year is the gift of presence - even if it requires us to be creative in making that happen. Spiritual friends learn how to set aside their own preoccupations and distractions. They listen, opening themselves up to the experiences of others. Mature spiritual friends have the awareness to attune themselves to the presence of God in the conversation as well. Soul companions learn how to give and receive dialogue. They consider conversation a sacred trust – cherishing, nurturing and holding the privilege as sacred.

I regret my youthful perspective when it came to my grandparents. As they aged, they were forced to make concessions in light of their declining health (which in my youth I could not understand). My grandmother bought a small, artificial tree. It was hideous, scantily clad with a stingy array of fake pine needles (dyed white) and a few miserly lights. It made Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree look like an award winner. I fussed and fussed about the tree. I told my grandmother in no uncertain terms that this particular tree was an affront to the meaning of Christmas.

Here’s what I wish I had known to do instead. I wish I had put down my childish ways and paid attention to what the tree was teaching me. My grandmother was getting tired. She was laying all earthly things aside. She hadn’t lost her Christmas Spirit, so much as she had learned that all the hoorah surrounding the commercialization of Christmas was meaningless. I could have learned a lot from her if I had listened better. My grandmother was getting to the essence of what is most important in life, not giving up the gift of Christmas cheer.

Again, when we know better, we do better.

I never thought my mother, the Queen of Christmas Cheer, would fall victim to the tabletop Christmas tree. But she did. When she started chortling about her clever way of throwing a sheet over that tiny tree and having Bob haul it to the basement for easy decorating the next Christmas, I knew this time what I was seeing. I applauded her ingenuity. I marveled at how those ornaments seemed to cooperate with the move up and down the stairs with Bob’s hurried steps. I knew in my gut that my mother was not well.

When we know better, we do better.

Day 18: The Gift of Presence

One of the best gifts any of us could give or receive this year is the gift of presence - even if it requires us to be creative in making that happen. Spiritual friends learn how to set aside their own preoccupations and distractions. They listen, opening themselves up to the experiences of others. Mature spiritual friends have the awareness to attune themselves to the presence of God in the conversation as well. Soul companions learn how to give and receive dialogue. They consider conversation a sacred trust – cherishing, nurturing and holding the privilege as sacred.

I regret my youthful perspective when it came to my grandparents. As they aged, they were forced to make concessions in light of their declining health (which in my youth I could not understand). My grandmother bought a small, artificial tree. It was hideous, scantily clad with a stingy array of fake pine needles (dyed white) and a few miserly lights. It made Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree look like an award winner. I fussed and fussed about the tree. I told my grandmother in no uncertain terms that this particular tree was an affront to the meaning of Christmas.

Here’s what I wish I had known to do instead. I wish I had put down my childish ways and paid attention to what the tree was teaching me. My grandmother was getting tired. She was laying all earthly things aside. She hadn’t lost her Christmas Spirit, so much as she had learned that all the hoorah surrounding the commercialization of Christmas was meaningless. I could have learned a lot from her if I had listened better. My grandmother was getting to the essence of what is most important in life, not giving up the gift of Christmas cheer.

Again, when we know better, we do better.

I never thought my mother, the Queen of Christmas Cheer, would fall victim to the tabletop Christmas tree. But she did. When she started chortling about her clever way of throwing a sheet over that tiny tree and having Bob haul it to the basement for easy decorating the next Christmas, I knew this time what I was seeing. I applauded her ingenuity. I marveled at how those ornaments seemed to cooperate with the move up and down the stairs with Bob’s hurried steps. I knew in my gut that my mother was not well.

When we know better, we do better.