Day 11: Practice Living Well

When the magi had departed, an angel from the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up. Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod will soon search for the child in order to kill him.” Joseph got up and, during the night, took the child and his mother to Egypt. He stayed there until Herod died. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: I have called my son out of Egypt.

When Herod knew the magi had fooled him, he grew very angry. He sent soldiers to kill all the children in Bethlehem and in all the surrounding territory who were two years old and younger, according to the time that he had learned from the magi. This fulfilled the word spoken through Jeremiah the prophet:

A voice was heard in Ramah,

weeping and much grieving.

Rachel weeping for her children,

and she did not want to be comforted,

because they were no more.

Matthew 2:13-18 CEB

I love Joseph. Here again we see him responding in obedience to an angel from the Lord. I long to be a person who can hear, understand and then do God’s will.

We’re going to have some rather simple and clear opportunities during this holiday season to choose wisely. We will have moments when, under stress, we will decide whether to extend grace or act our frustration, especially as we wind down a difficult year. Can we find a little kindness for others?

Can we be kind to ourselves? This is different from self-indulgence. Can we continue to take time to exercise, prepare healthy food for ourselves…step away from the Christmas cookies after a modest two! I find for myself that I tend to listen and respond more appropriately when I am treating my body, mind and heart with respect. This means taking care of it. I will also need to choose whether or not I’m going to continue to practice spiritual disciplines over hiding out in my room watching Christmas movies. This year it has been easy to hide behind quarantines and zoom calls. It’s been a bit easier to disconnect.

But we have a chance to end the year reasonably well. But we cannot pretend that we are living well…we must actually practice living well. Joseph practiced. Can we?

Day 11: Practice Living Well

When the magi had departed, an angel from the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Get up. Take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod will soon search for the child in order to kill him.” Joseph got up and, during the night, took the child and his mother to Egypt. He stayed there until Herod died. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: I have called my son out of Egypt.

When Herod knew the magi had fooled him, he grew very angry. He sent soldiers to kill all the children in Bethlehem and in all the surrounding territory who were two years old and younger, according to the time that he had learned from the magi. This fulfilled the word spoken through Jeremiah the prophet:

A voice was heard in Ramah,

weeping and much grieving.

Rachel weeping for her children,

and she did not want to be comforted,

because they were no more.

Matthew 2:13-18 CEB

I love Joseph. Here again we see him responding in obedience to an angel from the Lord. I long to be a person who can hear, understand and then do God’s will.

We’re going to have some rather simple and clear opportunities during this holiday season to choose wisely. We will have moments when, under stress, we will decide whether to extend grace or act our frustration, especially as we wind down a difficult year. Can we find a little kindness for others?

Can we be kind to ourselves? This is different from self-indulgence. Can we continue to take time to exercise, prepare healthy food for ourselves…step away from the Christmas cookies after a modest two! I find for myself that I tend to listen and respond more appropriately when I am treating my body, mind and heart with respect. This means taking care of it. I will also need to choose whether or not I’m going to continue to practice spiritual disciplines over hiding out in my room watching Christmas movies. This year it has been easy to hide behind quarantines and zoom calls. It’s been a bit easier to disconnect.

But we have a chance to end the year reasonably well. But we cannot pretend that we are living well…we must actually practice living well. Joseph practiced. Can we?

Understanding God

Many people chaff under the phrase found in recovery literature “as we understood him [God]”. That’s unfortunate. Because it holds a profound truth that we may need to wrestle with. We may need to increase our understanding of God. We may need to let go of abusive, manipulative or harming notions of God that were given us at an early age.

I was shocked to realize that God was not a white man with a big white fluffy beard, because that was the picture of God that was framed and hanging in a Sunday School class I attended as a child with my grandparents.

I had to let that imagery go. I had to let go of the image of a God who demanded I be a helper without acknowledging my need for help.

I had to let that false teaching go. I had to replace the image of a distant, demanding God with the gentle and humble reality of Jesus. (Weird how so often we transpose an image of a real human being over the truth of who God is.)

Today, find some time to invite God to begin to reveal to you what you need to let go of, and maybe what you need to gain understanding about him. Breathe. Give him time to do his thing before you rush off to your day.

Letting Go- Surrender and Seeking

One thing we learn when we practice the eleventh step is that we can let go, surrender to and seek God’s will.

These are fine ideas but impossible to execute if the “god” of our understanding does not rescue little girls from sexual predators or abusive fathers. It is a challenge to trust a “god” when people chalk up death and disaster as “God’s will.”

This kind of God? How can we trust that? My friend Terri had to unlearn God stuff as did I. In the beginning of my recovery, the idea that God wanted to love me without condition was a radical concept for me. The practices of my early faith reflected an unspoken belief that God is hungry, angry, and distant. If I really looked closely at my rigid practices my relationship with God was more like my grandchildren’s relationship with the animals at the local petting zoo.

Feed him (God takes cash or credit cards these days) and don’t stand too close or you might get your fingers bit off. As we pray and meditate, our confusions and fears and ignorance will rise up and greet us on occasion. Instead of giving up, go looking for spiritual advisors who understand God’s character - gracious, merciful, loving and desirous of blessing and healing us.

Step Eleven as as Challenge

The eleventh step says “as we understood him [God]”; it’s worth noting that we may need to increase our understanding of God. We may need to let go of abusive, manipulative or harming notions of God that were given to us at an early age.

I appreciate how the 11th step implicitly acknowledges that our limited understanding may impact our capacity for conscious contact. I try to keep that in mind for myself, opening myself up to the possibility that my understanding of God may need expanding or even correcting. I want, maybe even need, to offer you a challenge.

Where did your ideas about God come from? Were the source/s trustworthy? Knowledgeable? Informed? Healthy and well? Did they have their own unhealed wounds or misguided sources of information? Have you done your own investigation as to the nature of God?

When our pilot project recovery ministry began no one expected it to actually succeed. We didn’t ask - what if this works and people show up? We had no budget because who needs money for an 8 week pilot? But people came and stayed. At some point, I suppose in part because we were clear about the leadership of the community being Christian, people decided they wanted to get baptized. Another surprise. We asked a local church that we were affiliated with if we could use their baptismal to baptize a few folks after their normal church hours one Sunday. They agreed.

A few weeks later we trudged through the parking lot walking against the grain as worshippers streamed out in a mad dash to beat the Presbyterians to the best local brunches. Terri, a dear friend who was about to dip into those warm waters, stopped walking. “I can’t do this,” she said. “Why not? What’s wrong?” I asked. “I don’t belong here; I’m not good enough.” She replied. She was wrong. Dead wrong. She was my neighbor and friend and recovery ministry partner. She was an excellent mother, in long term recovery and possessed a heart that was pure gold walking around in a body that was adorned often with cowgirl boots and closely cropped purple hair - my favorite color. She knew how to be in long term recovery and work a spiritual program; she did not know how to go to church.

The distorted images of God foisted upon her by her traumatic past made a building with a steeple on top a riskier environment for her than the local pub. Drinking she knew how to avoid; the wrath of God was what she feared.