In order to live a full life, do THIS…

The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.

John 10:10, CEB

We looked at this passage during the message yesterday, as well as in our initial run of positive faith blog posts a couple months back. 

Faith, for me, growing up, was never about living life to the fullest. The message I received was much different: Life sucks and then you die (and go to heaven). 

I was legitimately confused when I got to seminary and so much talk was dedicated to the Christian life. Up until that point I carried the impression that a Christian hangs on for dear life until they arrive at the after life. Jesus’ own words, above, were lost on me.

Okay, so let’s say we can put all that baggage behind us. Let’s say we can take for granted that God desires us to live full lives. What constitutes a full life? 

There are so many things we could say. We internalize many values of various kinds during our lives. Some we are aware of. Some not. Here’s a few examples of the kinds that we take in without being consciously aware of.

-Go along to get along

-Be on your best behavior

-Do as your told

-Be polite

-Be seen and not heard

-Work harder than everyone else

-Do more for others than they do for you

-Give until you feel so depleted you can hardly move, and then give some more

-Do not want (or, do not voice your wants)

-Do not need (or, do not voice your needs)

Perhaps one or two of these resonates with you. Perhaps this is part of why it is so difficult to internalize the vision of God as a benevolent father who desires the best for you. 

Perhaps, also, we live with a certain amount of someone else’s values. The above messages are ones that are sent to us that we then internalize. This makes life confusing. We know, on one level, that going along to get along is not serving us, but we do not know (or might not know) of a desirable alternative that actually leads to full life.

We may experiment with things. We may feel so deeply at odds with the value we received (going along to get along, for example) that we need to push against it and we settle for anything we can find. We rebel, we move away, we practice risky behaviors, and so on and so on. We do the things we know for sure that we are not supposed to do. 

What I’m describing here is something like the dynamic of a sheltered child going off to college and becoming the biggest drinker at the school. It’s natural to push against the tension we feel when we perceive a difference between how we’re told to live and what is truly meaningful for us. 

This is really what I want you to pay attention to. You likely grew up with messages about how you were supposed to live that are at odds with what is truly meaningful for you. And my guess is this gets in the way of living a full life. 

How do you get in touch with what is really meaningful for you then?

I believe it’s the combination of a lot of factors. I believe it’s the experience of acceptance, inclusion, and non-judgment. I believe it helps to interact with other people who are genuine and congruent (i.e., you can tell that what they are putting into the world is the person they truly are). Things like the Enneagram help particularly with this last part- becoming genuine and congruent. 

You may also want to create some space in your life to reflect. To journal, take notes, etc. You may want to read something meaningful (whether that’s Richard Rohr or Crime and Punishment). It may require some slowing down.

If you feel like you’ve been on a journey to become your genuine self…what helped you do this? Join our Facebook group and let’s discuss.