The Unexpected Power of Rest

Scott and I are drawing to a close on a series of Sunday messages that we called "Big Words of the Bible." What a title! It reminds me of teaching Sunday School classes decades ago. My words have not lived up to BIG. But that was kind of my point when I coined the series title. I don't know if anyone noticed, but I was trying to say - what God says is BIG, we often discount.

But I am first and foremost a mother and grandmother - I believe with all my hard that BIG truths, BIG points, and BIG callings often show up in small packages. My word for this week is very, very small: REST. But I think it is BIG for a couple of reasons.

As the Snickers commercial says, "You're not yourself when you are hungry." This is an abbreviated sentiment of the old recovery phrase, "Do not get to hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT)." Presuming that if we do, nothing good will come of it. My own grandchildren point to the truth. Those little angels can be quite the handfuls when they are too tired. It's not like tired slows them down for snuggles...Tired ramps them up. They get hyper. They start yelling and carrying on. They are not themselves.

I'm not sure why when we grow up we forget the basics of what reasonable parents know about their children - children need rest. They need to go to bed early and take naps! They need quiet time to read books. They need snacks. And this is also true for us.

But we live in a world that honors busy, productivity, efficiency...and to quote a band called Cake, "Getting up early and staying up late."

God doesn't agree. Sprinkled throughout the scriptures, God says things like....

"I'll refresh tired bodies." Jeremiah 31:25 Message

"He makes me lie down in green pastures." Psalm 23:2

"Come to me all you that are weary ...and I will give you rest". Matthew 11:28

Rest is an acknowledgement that we are human. Rest is respectful of our bodies and its limitations. Rest is essential for us to heal and thrive. Rest is an indicator that vulnerability is not a character defect. It lowers our stress hormones, helps us with weight management, increases our capacity for creativity and more more more.

Our resistance to rest is perhaps an indication that we have forgotten that we are human, and God really is not dependent on us to keep the earth rotating on its axis. Or maybe part of the problem is that we humans have a bad habit of ascribing our cultural norms to God - as if it was his idea. But being busy all the time is not a God thing. Give yourself a break!

We live in a world that does not support rest - at least in our culture. But what if we learned how to rest...and were able to become a safe place for others to rest? What if we stopped pushing people, demanding things of them, rushing through life....and just ....rested. How does that feel to you?

Mercy Might Precede Repentance

This past Sunday we had a conversation about repentance in our morning service as part of our series on key concepts from scripture. When I shared the topic with the crowd it was met with a collective groan. Nobody wants to talk about repentance. I asked why.

There were a variety of answers. Many of them had to do with fear of punishment. If we bring our misdeeds from the darkness into the light, aren’t we inviting punishment? Some took if a bit further. Perhaps God will be gracious with us up to a point, but if we continue to slip up in life won’t his mercy run out? Will he tire of of offering us forgiveness and, eventually, stop giving us second chances?

This speaks to the insecurity many of us live with when it comes to our standing before God. We might believe, for instance, that God is willing to offer us grace to become a part of His people…but after that we’re kind of on our own. What happens if we slip up after we’ve become “insiders”? We believe that He’ll forgive our pasts but not necessarily that He’ll forgive our futures.

We then looked at a few passages.

Those who hide their sins won’t succeed, but those who confess and give them up will receive mercy.

~ Proverbs 28:13, CEB

Followed by:

Change your hearts and lives! (Side note: in other translations this first phrase would simply show up as the word, “Repent!” Which means: Change your hearts and lives.) Turn back to God so that your sins may be wiped away.

~ Acts 3:19, CEB

I chose these first two verses because there is often this thought that the Old and New testaments present distinctly different visions for a life of faith. I do not believe that is the case, although I do believe that scripture is challenging enough that, without some guidance, it could easily appear that way. But these two verses represent a fundamentally similar spirit about the attitude that we take towards our misdeeds and God’s response to them.

In the service we had a debate about the differences between confessing and repenting. Many of you felt that confessing is merely acknowledging something whereas repenting involves a change. If we take a big picture perspective I believe the spirit of these two passages is roughly the same. Confession, ideally, leads to change. Repentance (a change of heart and life) doesn’t really happen without confession. So I see no reason to turn these into completely independent ideas. Also- I don’t want us to miss for the forest for the trees because the point here is the same: God is willing to offer a clean slate.

Yes, it’s important that we acknowledge the reality of our lives and important that we attempt to change. And- God is willing to offer mercy. I would argue it’s His default stance, not based on whether or not we do the proper rituals but based solely on His desire to offer love. But we have been so often taught that His love and mercy are conditional such that we become afraid of living with nothing hidden because if we expose the reality of our lives then surely He will reject us. And so we look at another passage.

Remember these things, Jacob; Israel, for you are my servant. I formed you; you are my servant! I won’t forget you, Israel. I swept away your rebellions like a cloud, and your sins like fog. Return to me, because I have redeemed you.

~ Isaiah 44:21-22, CEB

This comes from a section of the Old Testament where God's people are in exile. In short- they were taken over by the Babylonians and forced into slavery. God allowed this to happen because the people had forgotten their call: to take care of the poor, the widows, and the orphans among them (as well as had gotten in the habit of worshipping other gods).

Now, according to the conventional logic of repentance and forgiveness, we might assume that God's people need to confess and repent and then God will save them and restore them from their troubles. The logic of Isaiah 44 is the opposite: I have redeemed you, so come back to me.

If God's mercy were conditional, Isaiah wouldn't be able to get away with this. It makes no sense to consider that mercy might given in order to inspire change as opposed to being given in response to change.

You see, it's the faulty (but logical) formula that gets us in trouble. We think God gives mercy only in response to change. But what we see here is that God also has a history of giving mercy to inspire change. He works in multiple ways, not just one. God also gives mercy in response to change, of course, but the fact that this isn't the only way He works tells us something important: It's not our ability to change that leads to mercy, it's God's desire to give mercy. His desire can arise before or after confession and/or repentance. The desire to give is always there, which means mercy can come upon us at any time.

Mercy can come upon you at any time.

You Are God’s Chosen Family

We snaked through the pre-game traffic in Charlottesville with the experienced patience of people who have been going to games at the University of Virginia for almost 50 years (yikes). I was looking at the neighborhood we were stuck in, wondering about housing costs. I asked my husband, "What would have happened if we had chosen to live here after graduation?"

He's used to this from me. I ask this EVERY time we go up for a game. He shrugs and hopes I am done with my rumination. I am not. My mind scrolls back to all the "choices" we have made over the years. Choosing, along with our best friends, to go en masse to Virginia. Choosing to get married straight out of college. Choosing Richmond over Charlottesville. Choosing to join a church that became our home for many years and determined who our lifelong friends would become. One choice after another, not the least of which was our choice to believe that there is a God (and we did not get the job).

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

In this passage, Joshua is offering a true choice to his people - Door A or Door B. Joshua declares his choice, and his people follow his lead. No single decision has been as impactful in our lives than this one, impacting every dimension of our life - for good, and in some cases, to our detriment. Choosing God over the "gods of our ancestors" has not been #blessed 24/7. I know this sounds like blasphemy, I intend no offense. I mean, think about it. There are plenty of biblical characters who CHOSE wisely and ended up suffering for their choice. One word: Jesus.

Of course, the challenging days, the "bad things," are not God's fault. We chose AND we have not always remembered our choice or applied this decision to our daily lives - we're as uneven in our faithfulness as the next guy I suppose. So let's assume we are no one's hero! But that's not my point. My point is this: the central issue is not what I choose or do not choose. I am not the central character in a one-woman play.

We live in a world that tells us that we have choices. And we do? Maybe? A few? But perhaps fewer choices than we think. Choice sounds great because it implies control, and we all love that, right? We like to think we are the queen of our castle, the master of our destiny, the captain of our ship. Now, hear me on this. I'm not saying we have no choice. When we say for example, "I don't have any choice but to..." that statement usually means that we are about to do something that flies in the face of our own values. I'm not saying there are no choices. And I'm not saying that we are not responsible for the choices we actually make. But what I'm saying is that we are not as in control, large and in charge as we think.

Last Sunday my granddaughter was "reading" to us. She turned the book into a musical, breaking into song and dance in ways that I have never seen applied to that book - which was super fun - but she was a demanding entertainer. If one of us commented, or spoke, she would yell, "Catch a bubble." And she expected us to catch it. (This evidently means you fill your cheeks with air and hold that pose - which does indeed make it impossible to interrupt.) She SO thought she was in charge and she held the power to choose our responses. She was, of course, wrong. It suited us to catch a bubble. Pete could watch the US Open in silence - except for the reading, singing, and dancing ninja vying for his attention. The truth is - every single one of us could have lost our bubble and exerted our power in a nanosecond. Choice and control are both tricky and at times illusions.

Today, I want to leave you with a bit of a different perspective on choice.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

You. Are. Chosen. This is more important than what you do or do not choose. It is more crucial than your consistency and follow through on the choices you do make. You. Are. Chosen. If your choices are confusing, if you are on occasion disappointed in your own commitment to your choices, I think this is good news. You are not dependent on your own wisdom and self-control - we live in a bubble and we did not have to find it. The bubble of God's love finds us. He chose first. I hope this offers you some comfort.

I hope this changes things for you.

Forgiveness is as Forgiveness does

Forgiveness is one of the more complex topics we try to cover at NSC. We all agree on some aspects of forgiveness, like:

• It's important

• It's difficult

• It's a process

And surely we'd agree on plenty more. One of the things I hear the most, and something I certainly heard a lot of on Sunday, is that we can be quite tortured both by our desire to receive forgiveness and our desire to give forgiveness. I heard several people agonize over their inability to forgive people they deeply want to forgive. This speaks to the challenge we face. Forgiveness, ultimately, does not seem to be 100% within our control. Otherwise, if we wanted to do it, we would. But...there are frequently times where we'd like to and just...can't. As a result we often find ourselves trapped in shame. We hear those voices saying, "If you were a good Christian," or, "If you were a good person," or, "If you were actually faithful," you'd just forgive them.

I don't particularly believe that our faith or our goodness (or whatever else we might use to fill in the blanks with) is at stake when it comes to our forgiveness. The passage below is probably going to seem like it contradicts me, but I think if we dig in a little you might see where I'm coming from.

36 Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate.37 “Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good portion—packed down, firmly shaken, and overflowing—will fall into your lap. The portion you give will determine the portion you receive in return.”

Luke 6:36-38, CEB

For your own reflection:

• What resonates with you in these words?

• What challenges you in these words?

Let me just be clear about my opinions here. I don't think this is about earning favor. I don't think it's about a quid pro quo (wherein you ONLY get forgiven if you forgive others). Granted, it certainly reads that way at first glance. But I think this is a case where it's important not to be overly literal in how we read. We know, based on lots of readings in other places, that faith is not based on some system of quid pro quo's. So let's look past the "if this, then that" type of formula we see here and try to see the big picture, or the spirit of this passage.

I think the spirit of this passage is about recognizing that our attitudes towards others are important. They are not, of course, the sole determining factor of our standing before God. But they do matter. How treat other people matters to God.

It may also help if we didn't think of this in black and white terms. It's less important that we figure out how to be compassionate to every single person we've resented (no matter what they've done) than it is to consider what it looks like to be a compassionate person in general. We're all going to make mistakes and have moments where we aren't as gracious as we'd like to be. The question is more like, "Are you prioritizing this?" Knowing full well we're not always going to get it right.

And, perhaps even more significant, it would be helpful to realize that there are several paths to forgiveness. Confession, for instance, is one possible path. It's okay to confess, as an example, that you're struggling to forgive. Or that you can't forgive. But here we find another possible path to forgiveness- a path where the more open we are to others- the more compassionate and accepting we are to others, the more likely we are to receive compassion.

On the whole what I hear in these words is this: The more forgiving and compassionate you are, the better off you'll be. It's up to you to figure out where to go with that. But I believe what we're being told is that the more forgiving and compassionate you are, the better off you'll be.

Forgiveness is hard. There are times where it seems like it's never going to happen...and then suddenly out of the blue it does. Sometimes it seems like it's never going to happen...and then we just still find ourselves sitting around waiting and hoping that forgiveness will one day find us. In either case, we're going to be okay. God has offered multiple paths to forgiveness. And, at the same time, He's offered us a call: take the forgiveness, mercy, and compassion you've received and try to find ways to pass it on...when you can, where you can. If you can. When that happens, we'll all be better off.

Hope for the Eeyores, the anxious and....those paying attention

The first time I heard Kate Bowler speak, she had me at, “What would it mean for Christians to give up that little piece of the American Dream that says, "You are limitless"? Everything is not possible. The mighty kingdom of God is not yet here. What if 'rich' did not have to mean 'wealthy', and 'whole' did not have to mean 'healed'? What if being the people of "the gospel" meant that we are simply people with good news? God is here. We are loved. It is enough.”― Kate Bowler, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved

I mean. Truth is so very sexy.

Google her and you find out that Kate is qualified to speak on the subject of relentless positivity. She has written books on the subject. She is surviving a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis. She's a Canadian academic and is an Associate Professor of the History of Christianity in North America at Duke Divinity School. She has interviewed the positivity perky pastors among us (and their spouses). She has seen up close and personal the impact of #blessed as a mission statement.

When we study one thing relentlessly, like positivity, it turns out that we often acquire mad skills for concepts that are wildly different - in her case, Kate gets HOPE. Hope, she says is not optimism. Optimism, the American dream of being anything you want to be, acquiring what you need and want if you just work heard enough...and more platitudes often embraced by Christians...is, in her estimation, more about power than hope. It is this thought that our minds are powerful and we can "manifest" success and ward off evil if we just BELIEVE (and use the correct essential oil).

If this brand of Americana does not work for you, welcome.

Optimism, at its root, demands a successful outcome. Hope is more of an orientation than an outcome-driven idea. Optimism is relentless in its positivity; hope is more ambiguous. In the scriptures, it is a fruit of the Spirit, a sign of God's present, a belief that the story is not over...yet. Hope believes that God is still working and good CAN happen without promise that it will happen for me...today, this week, or in my lifetime.

Hope has its own rewards - it makes us more tolerant of living in liminal space - the 'not yet' space that is never marked on our calendars but can fill years and years of time. Hope requires more faith and perhaps a little less commitment to putting one's shoulder to plow ALL THE D@#^$ TIME. Hope allows us to be present with grief and suffering, a bit more empathetic and a lot less demanding of a good redemption story.

I have spent the first six months of 2022 living in the "not yet" space of a cancer diagnosis. The specialist? NOT yet on his calendar, even though it is cool he lives in my city. Clean margins? Two surgeries in...not YET sure of the outcome. The side effects of two invasive surgeries on my leg? Not yet clear on how the skin graft will look in the future (I currently scare small children if my wound peaks out from my pants). Not yet sure if the persistent swelling in my foot and ankle will abate. Not yet positive about whether or not I will be one of the unlucky melanoma patients who end up with it spreading to other parts of the body. Instead, I can hope that God is at work, good CAN happen, it does not have to happen to me in order for me to be faithful to a God who has a lot going on and is working over the expanse of time on behalf of all humanity. This, I can tolerate. This makes sense to me.

There is a Proverb that says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." I am grateful to know the difference - thanks Kate Bowler - between optimism and hope. I am so relieved to not have to carry around the weight of the perpetually positive expectations of others as if it is a measure of faith. "God is here. We are loved. That is enough." (KB)

"I know I'm just a Eeyore, but if you feel sad, I'll be your smile. If you cry, I'll be your comfort. And if someone breaks your heart, we can use mine to live. I'll always be by your side - your Eeyore." Eeyore.