Make an inventory of your resentments
Not everyone can get in touch with their feelings of resentment. People who fear that their anger is unacceptable may be better able to relate to experiences with depression or problems with ruminating over particular people or events. If you want to practice this part of the inventory, or maybe just want to take one example from your everyday life, here is how. I recommend a list with four columns:
1. The person or object of resentment (or rumination or who depresses you)….
2. What happened to cause the resentment (specific event/s)?
3. How did this affect me? What do I think this event cost me?
4. How did I react? What shortcomings about myself were revealed?
Here is an example:
1. I resent my spouse Susie Smith.
2. I resent Susie because she not only cheated on me with a guy at work, but she left me and
the kids and moved in with him. She emptied out our bank account.
3. The effect it had on my life includes: I resent her, my pride is hurt, I am afraid I am going to go
bankrupt, I am embarrassed. It cost me my marriage and my financial security and the
affection of my children.
4. I got really angry; I went to her work and caused a ruckus; I called the other guy’s wife and she
ended up kicking him out; I embarrassed myself and lost a lot of dignity while acting out. I relapsed.
Today’s assignment for all you intrepid inventory makers is to make a list of all the people you resent, ruminate over, and/or hate, then answer the questions for each. Again, starting with your first resentment and moving forward can be helpful. Use your inventory journal to record your resentments.