We struggle to know the difference between a problem and a solution

Because it is so challenging to nail down our personal shortcomings, we sometimes need help differentiating between our shortcomings and the consequences of our shortcomings.  We also confuse cause and effect.  For example, unlike the people who love folks struggling with substance use disorder (SUD), those who have one understand that their substance use of choice has solved problems for them.  If asked, they might report that it serves a social lubricant; maybe it reduces anxiety and lifts depression.  They might say that it  helps them forget their problems, at least briefly! They may feel more capable or optimistic when they use.  Others may not understand that, for them, using is the solution to their problems.

However, it is true that SUD causes problems.  Big problems.  Part of the denial process that is inevitable with SUD is related to their inability to see these consequences as related to their own usage.  This is true for all of us, whether or not we have a substance use disorder.  Growing and healing requires that we become willing to consider the possibility that we are confused about where to find workable solutions and identify the root of many of our issues. Here is a list of a few of the consequences character defects can cause us to experience:

Loss of: self-respect, innocence, intimacy, values, sexual health, boundaries, trust, self-control, credit, ability to work, property, relationships we care about, spiritual connection, driving privileges, freedom.

Persistent feelings of: guilt, shame, humiliation, rejection, isolation, stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, numbness, self-hatred, inadequacy, failure.

Instances of: abuse, health problems, financial distress, divorce, family and friend alienation, job problems.

These issues raise big flags of concern, but they may not necessarily reveal our root problems.  It often takes a supportive community to help us ferret out what is our part to work on, and what is God’s part to heal.  For today, just know that these descriptions do not have to be part of your daily life experience.