The Magic and Mystery of Acceptance

In a world that loves to judge, acceptance is a beautiful thing. It creates an environment where harm can be dealt with without a loss of relationship. In the arena of harm, forgiveness is one component that creates an environment of acceptance. In Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham’s book, The Spirituality of Imperfection, they share a story from an anonymous person they interviewed about the experience of forgiveness. This person had been harmed by another. She reported that over a long period of time she “just could not forgive.” Then one day she did. The interviewer wanted to know, “What the heck happened?” Although the ‘subject’ was unsure, upon a lot of reflection, she made the following connection:

“...I got involved in this thing at work, an affair with a guy in the office - oh, I love my husband, this was really just playing around, it wasn’t serious and I didn’t intend it to last, but...well, my husband found out about it, and he was really hurt and really angry...and you know what? I mean, you probably won’t believe this, but he forgave me!...And it is really good to know that he loves me even though I did that, to know that he’s forgiven me.”

She did not easily make the connection between her experience with being forgiven and her willingness to forgive. But I would suggest that acceptance was also a big part of her healing. What did she say? “It is really good to know that he loves me even though….”

If we are going to resolve harm through the work of amends, we will need to find a place we can run to for support - a place of acceptance.

What are you doing to create a world of acceptance? Whose lead can you follow in this work? Who might you nurture so they can follow you?