Problem Patterns

Here are some common patterns that all of us deal with to a certain extent. The challenge for each of us is to figure out which problems are the biggest issues for us. Conflict arises when we are not great at developing connection and intimacy (not sex, vulnerability) in relationships and/or we struggle to effectively handle conflict.

Do any of these issues pose challenges for you?

• Do you have a tendency to blame others?

• Do people ever accuse you of avoiding responsibility?

• Do you minimize your own wrongdoing? Make excuses? *

• Do you justify your misdeeds?

• Do you flood your thoughts with the distraction of self-pity or victimhood?

It is oh so true that others bear blame, share responsibility; we do get back breaks and/or are victimized. All of us have trouble being objective about our own motivations and mistakes. Everyone does this. Everyone.

These are not good long term strategies for an abundant life.

We can resist the urge to avoid feeling sad. We can find ways to make BOTH things true - we do wrong and so do others. AND we can find a way to deal with our part without using other people’s parts as an excuse to avoid our own.