When We Have Hope...
Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.
George Weinberg
Last night I was on yet another zoom call; Dr. James Bjork from VCU was sharing his research on the brain and addiction. He talked about “gray abnormalities” in the brain and how consistently these same anomalies appear across the spectrum of mental illnesses. He tied it to other studies that showed gray matter oddities in children who display uncontrollable emotionality and frequent bad behavior. And I thought: Huh. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
Is substance use disorder a symptom or THE problem? This really, really matters. And of course, it is an over-simplistic question. It ALL matters, right? Multiple problems or one problem. People who are struggling need support and help - which is most effectively provided if the problem is accurately identified AND we have a treatment protocol that works. As fascinating as the research is, it is tough to come out of that meeting without a lot of practical questions: what does this mean for MY kid? (And there is hope; it turns out research is showing that our brain has healing powers too.)
I think about all the courageous families I know who never give up as they search for answers to all manner of chronic health problems that their loved ones face. Whether it is a rare cancer diagnosis or tips on how to avoid catching the coronavirus - when we love someone, we want to support their thriving. We hope for better days and healing.
As much as I appreciate George Weinberg’s perspective on hope, I cannot agree with his premise. People, for the most part, do not abandon hope. It would be the equivalent of saying that people abandon their love for dessert or peanut butter or their favorite sports team. People do not give up on the good stuff and when we have hope, we can keep going!
I do not think we abandon hope. We get depleted. Exhaustion sets in. Compassion fatigue saps us. Frustration overwhelms us. Confusion clouds our capacity to choose a path and walk down it. We lose confidence in ourselves, others and even God. Are we weak? No! Life is hard. Tomorrow, I want to propose a cure for what ails us.
