Lovingkindness for the Sake of Lovingkindness

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”

Brene Brown

If I were going to nominate a queen for the tuna casserole festival, it would be Brene Brown. Her research, writings and talks on vulnerability, authenticity, shame and leadership make my toes tingle with gratitude. She offers a gentle, cuss-ladened, boot wearing, raucous laughing voice filled with curiosity and questions in a world that has been overrun by shouting and certainty.

Empathy may have no script but it sure as heck knows how to whip up a tuna casserole. Please, please, please, do not miss this point. The world is not healed by our certainties, opinions, or beliefs. The world does not flourish via the grand gesture. Or, to quote Brene -

“Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.” What can we do? We ask. How can we make the world a better place? Here are some ancient suggestions that have seen others through during times of darkness. Be Consistent. Be Reliable. Be Steadfast. Be Unconditional in lovingkindness. It is meant, I think, to be our default position. It is NORMAL.

The way we are living in this day and age is NOT NORMAL. It is not conducive to thriving. The great thing about lovingkindness is that it does NOT depend on reciprocity. We simply make it part and parcel of our character, not as a bartering chip or self-esteem building.

Too hard? Well of COURSE it is hard, if it were easy, every jackass would do it. #don’tbeajackass #serveupatunacasserole