Healthy shame is an invitation

Healthy shame tells us that something is wrong now and invites us to examine ourselves. It invites us to reconsider our actions or change our thoughts.

Although shame feels quite unpleasant, it is a temporary emotional spike. When we are in the midst of a shameful attack, our spiritual disciplines can provide relief from the unpleasant symptoms. This is helpful to know because without tools, shame is so uncomfortable that our mind and body want to flee.

In our suffering, we will go to great lengths to distract or numb ourselves. Does this work? Yes, temporarily. Does it heal? Hell no!

Some suggestions when under attack from shame:

1. Find folks who can validate your feelings, are mature enough to not join in your instinct to flee by trying to talk you out of your feelings, and who believe in you enough to support the hard work of recovery.

2. Find a good counselor to help you face your shame and repair any damage you have caused that is unresolved.

3. Are you eating well, getting rest, hydrating, spending time in nature? Create a self-care plan. Put that self-care plan in place.. Share it with a trusted ally.

4. A healthy, supportive and non-shaming spiritual component of your recovery program can help mitigate these shame triggers even as you address your issues. Assess your spiritual support. Does it need a boost?