Conversations are bids for connection (no matter how "small")

I over-share impulsively - and this can be a problem. Inclined to give me some grace? My impulsive over-sharing could be considered a bid for connection.


Most conversations are bids for connection. The quality of the bid matters but the truth is people make bids all the time.


I am not a big fan of the popular phrase, “Find your voice.” Very few of us are mute. The real issue is not if we have a voice but how we use the voice we have. Now, before you push back, it is also true that there is another problem in loving well - listening. We will get on with the work of learning more about listening tomorrow, but for today, let’s challenge ourselves to ALSO think about our talking.


Are we using our voice most effectively?


CHALLENGE: If you have fallen victim to this popular notion that you have no voice, challenge that assumption. Instead, think about how you communicate: verbally, nonverbally, passively, too aggressively? And ask yourself: have I identified the real problem? What if the real issue is that I am not effectively using my voice OR I am not acknowledging that some folks just do not have the desire or capacity to connect with me at the level I desire? Do we, perhaps, have too high expectations of others?