Learn to send messages that can be received

Let’s assume that my husband is communicating exactly what he means when he says, “How much did that sofa cost?” He is asking for a dollar amount. Period.


I could then try really hard, maybe dig the receipt out of my bag and respond, “$928.32.”


But this is not how our money conversations go.


If he asks “how much,” I hear: “Why did you buy that? You spend too much money. Take it back.”


So I reply, “$50.00.” Because, duh, who can complain about a $50 sofa?


To create a good relationship, the listener needs to accurately hear what is communicated. Historically, both a speaker and a listener have a track record for communication. As we discussed in yesterday’s blog we sometimes teach others that what we say is not what we mean. But the listener also has a responsibility to hear what is said. If we are inattentive, distracted, hearing impaired, or triggered - we may respond inappropriately.


CHALLENGE: Which issues do you struggle with most? Are you an unclear or confusing communicator? Do you sometimes struggle to listen carefully and ask for clarification often to make sure you are truly hearing what the speaker is saying?