Intensity breeds Intensity

I am probably one of the more dramatic people Pete ever has to deal with. I have a habit of bringing home a personal disaster report and asking him to listen to my tales of woe. He, in turn, gets confused by my sharing, thinking I am asking him to solve my problem(s), which of course I am NOT.

I, in return, get irritated with him. Why does he think I always need help solving my problems, I wonder? Of course, it never occurs to me to ask. What else is he supposed to think if I bring home daily reports of plagues and locusts? If there is a disaster, shouldn’t we all get our hands dirty and start a disaster relief effort?

Once I began moderating my intensity language and we began actively working on our listening skills, life has gotten both calmer and conflict decreased. But the capacity to actually practice new skill sets and have tough conversations without blaming one another is rooted in what? Unconditional positive regard.


CHALLENGE: Do you believe that the people you love know all the way deep into their bones that you have unconditional positive regard for them?