Affirming Seems Unnecessary

It’s hard to affirm an adult. It feels uncomfortable. I don’t know if you are like me, but I tend to think that we should correct what needs correcting. When things are working, we don’t really need to say anything because it’s working.

The reality is, if we only correct and never affirm, people feel unnoticed and unappreciated. They feel criticized and bogged down in insecurity and anxiety. They believe they are insignificant or, worse yet, that they are causing harm while doing no good.

Affirming offers people a sense of purpose. They feel seen, recognized, noticed, appreciated, and valued. And, guess what, we need these feelings. When people are built up, they tend to move in positive directions in life. Or, to phrase it differently, they are better able to move in the direction they want to move in...and most people want “good” things for themselves.

Want to make a difference in someone’s life? Affirm them. Notice something they’re doing well and encourage them in it. It feels weird, and perhaps seems unnecessary, but it is so important.

Don’t let any foul words come out of your mouth. Only say what is helpful when it is needed for building up the community so that it benefits those who hear what you say.

Ephesians 4:29