God’s Strength is NOT About Power

Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the creator of the ends of the earth.

He doesn’t grow tired or weary.

His understanding is beyond human reach,

giving power to the tired and reviving the exhausted. Isaiah 40:28-29, CEB

God doesn’t hoard his strength. 

That is a radical message- probably more radical than it feels. Significantly more radical. We live in a day and age where strength is almost always “lorded.” Where to have power is to abuse power and where the weak want power so they can, in a sense, become the ones doing the lording. 

The radical message of faith is quite different than all of the “earthly” quibbles over who has the power, strength, and force to call the shots and keep people in their places. 

God doesn’t hoard his strength. 

He gives his power to those in need, not so that they may become powerful rulers who can lord their power over others but so that they simply find the strength to persevere. 

Radical.

At least two things about this are radical. 

1. The idea that strength and power is simply offered to those who need it. It’s not treated like a finite resource but something that is freely available.

2. Strength and power are not given to one person at another person’s expense.

I hope you see how radical both of these are in a world where power is a finite resource that needs to be protected and guarded against and where power always comes the expense of another. 

In our world, one must go down for another to come up. God’s way of being is quite different. His hand goes down, and everyone is brought up. 

At the heart of positive faith is a God who is working on behalf of all. To ensure that all people live equally well (neither unequally well nor equally poorly). 

That is the kingdom that is coming. A kingdom where all live both well and harmoniously together. There is no model for what is coming. We’ve never seen this before. In fact, I suspect even saying God wants all people to live harmoniously together isn’t without controversy.

God is working on this not because He doesn’t care or is somehow ignorant of all the horrible things humans have done to each other. He’s not asking people to live in deep resentment with one another. He’s making it possible for us to live together so well that we will no longer resent our pain- it will be transformed into the unique kind of forgiveness that happens only when pain and suffering are no more.

And so we pray: May your kingdom come, may your will be done.

You aren’t in denial, you’re in pain.

For a long time I really connected with the concept of denial. And, while I still think it has some value, I think its value is a lot less than I once did. The thing that I liked about it is that it helped things make sense. It made things really easy to understand. If someone wasn’t responding to a difficult situation in the way that I thought was “correct” then I could just chalk it up to denial. 

Other people’s problems always seem simpler than our own. It’s easy-ish to see people do things that we perceive are not in their long-term best interests. Key word there is perceive. Try as we might we generally don’t really know what’s in someone’s long-term best interests. Or we may not know what’s really important to the other person. We may not know what a person is willing to sacrifice in order to feel good about the life they have lived. 

I recently listened to someone talk about regret. They were concerned that they had been too cold and uncaring to a loved one that they lost to substance use. They had cut the person off for stretches of time in order to protect themselves but, in retrospect, this person felt like they could have given more. As strung out as they might have been with that relationship, this person felt like they could have been a bit more self-sacrificial. 

In many circles people would call this denial; the assumption being that a certain level of sacrifice is simply too much to be reasonable. Some might even say this person is addicted to their loved one, or the feeling they get from trying to be helpful, and they need to recover from that. And they need to stop doing anything for the other person.

It’s tricky territory. Every relationship has a line somewhere between you and the other person. Relationships are rarely 50-50. Sometimes one person needs a higher level of care than the other. Sometimes the reverse is true. Over time, a decent and healthy relationship sees care extend in both directions. In some relationships, you show more care and concern than the other person. When this becomes “too much” is nearly impossible to judge. This is what my friend is struggling with: wondering if they detached too soon. 

What I’ve learned is this: There is no way to know what the “correct” way to relate to another person is. My friend felt like they detached too much, and that led to regret. You and I both know dozens of examples of people who felt like they were over attached and needed to back off. (And likely got the advice that, if they don’t do that, then they’re simply in denial). 

Because there is no way to know how people should be relating to their loved ones, then telling people they’re in denial doesn’t really help anything, even if how they’re acting doesn’t “make sense.” 

It could be that some people are willing to put their lives on hold for the sake of their loved ones. Is that denial? I don’t particularly think so. Not anymore. I just think that’s how they want to live. And, sometimes people want to live that way for a time then decide they want to try something different. They can change their minds. There are many paths. They are all acceptable. 

Our lives are complicated. We often have mixed feelings about how we are living, how are relationships are going, how we are acting in them, and how others act towards us. There are things we are willing to tolerate and things we are not willing to tolerate- and sometimes we change our minds on what exactly those things are. Sometimes we are willing to tolerate things until we reach a breaking point. Sometimes we’re willing to tolerate things…well…forever. 

We will not uncomplicated our lives by cutting out uncomfortable people or uncomfortable relationships. It’s important to care about others, even if it harms us. It’s important to make sacrifices for the sake of others. This is how we learn and grow. It’s how we live our call. And, we don’t have to make sacrifices all the time. We don’t have to make so many sacrifices that we can’t enjoy our lives. 

But, most importantly, we should really hesitate to tell other people what sacrifices they should make. We should really hesitate to tell someone else that they are in denial because they’re chosen path looks different than the one we might advise. 

So let me just stop here for a second. I keep doing the very thing I’m telling you not to do. I’m telling you not to do something. So let me suggest an alternative: Rather than telling other people what they should be doing with their lives, build other people up. Encourage them. Point out their strengths. Tell them you appreciate them. 

Why? Because of this:

God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we’re awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we’re alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11, Message

God sacrificed himself so that we might have life. A life not characterized by angry rejection but one where we’re a part of a group of people where we are lifted up and encouraged, where hope is shared, where no person is left out or left behind. 

We don’t need to concern ourselves with how people should be living. We need to concern ourselves with this simpler call: to include, encourage, and upbuild. 

I truly believe that if we focus on these things that rest takes care of itself. If we do these things then we create a safe and loving community where people are supported and accepted and can grow into the kind of person God is calling each of us to be. 

In short, let’s not tell others their business…let’s just tell remind each person in our lives all of the many wonderful things they have to offer.

In order to live a full life, do THIS…

The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.

John 10:10, CEB

We looked at this passage during the message yesterday, as well as in our initial run of positive faith blog posts a couple months back. 

Faith, for me, growing up, was never about living life to the fullest. The message I received was much different: Life sucks and then you die (and go to heaven). 

I was legitimately confused when I got to seminary and so much talk was dedicated to the Christian life. Up until that point I carried the impression that a Christian hangs on for dear life until they arrive at the after life. Jesus’ own words, above, were lost on me.

Okay, so let’s say we can put all that baggage behind us. Let’s say we can take for granted that God desires us to live full lives. What constitutes a full life? 

There are so many things we could say. We internalize many values of various kinds during our lives. Some we are aware of. Some not. Here’s a few examples of the kinds that we take in without being consciously aware of.

-Go along to get along

-Be on your best behavior

-Do as your told

-Be polite

-Be seen and not heard

-Work harder than everyone else

-Do more for others than they do for you

-Give until you feel so depleted you can hardly move, and then give some more

-Do not want (or, do not voice your wants)

-Do not need (or, do not voice your needs)

Perhaps one or two of these resonates with you. Perhaps this is part of why it is so difficult to internalize the vision of God as a benevolent father who desires the best for you. 

Perhaps, also, we live with a certain amount of someone else’s values. The above messages are ones that are sent to us that we then internalize. This makes life confusing. We know, on one level, that going along to get along is not serving us, but we do not know (or might not know) of a desirable alternative that actually leads to full life.

We may experiment with things. We may feel so deeply at odds with the value we received (going along to get along, for example) that we need to push against it and we settle for anything we can find. We rebel, we move away, we practice risky behaviors, and so on and so on. We do the things we know for sure that we are not supposed to do. 

What I’m describing here is something like the dynamic of a sheltered child going off to college and becoming the biggest drinker at the school. It’s natural to push against the tension we feel when we perceive a difference between how we’re told to live and what is truly meaningful for us. 

This is really what I want you to pay attention to. You likely grew up with messages about how you were supposed to live that are at odds with what is truly meaningful for you. And my guess is this gets in the way of living a full life. 

How do you get in touch with what is really meaningful for you then?

I believe it’s the combination of a lot of factors. I believe it’s the experience of acceptance, inclusion, and non-judgment. I believe it helps to interact with other people who are genuine and congruent (i.e., you can tell that what they are putting into the world is the person they truly are). Things like the Enneagram help particularly with this last part- becoming genuine and congruent. 

You may also want to create some space in your life to reflect. To journal, take notes, etc. You may want to read something meaningful (whether that’s Richard Rohr or Crime and Punishment). It may require some slowing down.

If you feel like you’ve been on a journey to become your genuine self…what helped you do this? Join our Facebook group and let’s discuss.

Your Best Behavior

Here’s more positive faith for you. I think. I hope.

Last Sunday I talked about this idea that I think is pretty common in faith circles: That if you’re not afraid, you won’t behave. 

There’s a few things to unpack here. The first being the assumption that fear gets people to behave how you want them to behave. The second being that faith is ultimately about your behavior. Let’s take these in reverse order.

Obviously, behavior plays some kind of a role in a life of faith. If we lived like Vikings just landing on shore and taking what we want and destroying what we want then we’d be hard pressed to consider that any kind of reflection of God’s love. But the question is- how much “behaving” is necessary in order to be a person of God and what kind of behaving are we looking for. 

There aren’t easy answers to these questions. I like to start with the principle: It is our calling, as the people of God, to reflect God’s love to the world around us to the best of our ability in whatever circumstances we can. We are not, as individuals, going to do this perfectly. I happen to believe, others may disagree, that as long as we are trying then we can have confidence that we’re living our call even if we fall short of our goal quite often. 

And, I think it’s part of our responsibility to run all of the ethical scenarios we’re confronted with through this lens. When it comes to your sex life, are you reflecting the love of God? As a parent, are you reflecting the love of God? As a coworker? As a boss? And so on. I am assuming, again, that we’re not going to be perfect and that is okay. The idea here is that we’re being intentional to try to use God’s love as a guide in each of these areas. 

But here’s the important thing: A life of faith is not ultimately about behaving, even the kind I’ve just described. A life of faith is ultimately about the God who is constantly at work in His creation to bring about a new reality based on His ideas about justice, forgiveness, mercy, love, grace, and so on. Faith is not ultimately about us, it is ultimately about God and His work. His son was the final sacrifice- making it possible for people to remain at peace with God without further sacrifice. And, in this, we can take comfort. So that’s my take on the second thing. Let’s back up to the first. 

Faith communities, in America, have long operated under the assumption that fear leads to compliance (and, per the second thing above, compliance to faith). There is an element of this that is probably true, for some, for a time. Fear can get people to stop doing certain things- sometimes. Does it create more faithful people? I have my doubts. 

I think it makes scared people. Scared people don’t thrive- they’re not pursuing a meaningful life where they have a strong sense of their calling and what it looks like to pursue that in their ordinary day-to-day lives. Scared people feel trapped between what they want to do and what they believe they should do. This creates anxious people who are paralyzed and who don’t really have a clue how to make decisions for themselves or take ownership of their lives or their faith. In my opinion, being scared isn’t good for us. 

I can remember being in youth group in high school and, on a particular Wednesday night, a group came to speak to us about sex. They paraded a series of teens before us who had already had sex and who shared their stories of how it happened and how they wished it hadn’t happened. The final speaker told us that having sex bonds one soul to another- they become one- and so when those souls break up, they split, meaning that you lose a piece of your soul. In short: having sex before marriage costs you a piece of your soul that you never get back. 

I sat there imagining myself one day in heaven walking around without an arm or leg or some such thing- because I was surely going to lose a piece of my soul at some point. At the time it made sense that that piece was like a body part. 

I don’t pretend to know all the in’s and out’s of how God views sex and it’s not my point in this post to get into it. What I want to point out is this: That group believed that if they made us afraid of sex, we wouldn’t do it. And, I believe this is the sum total of the message about faith in many circles. Stay away from the “bad” stuff or you will be punished.

In Jesus’ words, he came to give us abundant life (John 10). He also came to point to the work of the father who sent him. The father who sent a final sacrifice so that people may live at peace with the father without constant need to make further sacrifices (Romans 5). All of this was done because God chose to operate this way, out of love for His creation (John 3, and many other places). 

Faith isn’t about individuals behaving, it’s about a God who is designing creation so that, one day, there will be no pain, no tears, no suffering. We are called to faith so that we can see this God at work, so that we might be witnesses to the work, and so that we can point other people to that work. Not so that we can point others to the ways in which our behavior does or does not align with this work. 

And so, for this reason, I encourage you to think of ways you might be excited to demonstrate God’s love. Where does it bring you joy to reflect God’s love to others?

Are there areas of life where you would like to start reflecting God’s love, if you could? 

You are as God made you. That’s good news! Now, given who you are, where do you want to spread the love?

The Beauty of “Ball Parking” It

I’ve never really understood the phrase “ballpark it.” It comes from counting attendance in ballparks- and it means something like, “Give me a rough estimate.” I’ve never really understood this because ballparks know exactly how many people attend. In the old days they counted the number of tickets handed over. Now they just scan a barcode and computers do the math. Either way, we’re talking about fairly high levels of precision. 

Setting aside my confusion for a second, I love this phrase. I love rough estimates. I love the idea of working hard enough to get a clear idea of what is going on in a given situation but not working so hard you send yourself into an anxiety spiral over minutiae. 

I took an online course in photography recently from a photographer I admire. In one of the sections he showed some of his most famous portraits- and a few of them were quite out of focus. Now, anytime I take a picture that is out of focus I almost always send it straight to the trash. His philosophy was more like, “I try to get everything in focus. That’s the goal. But an out-of-focus picture can still be a good picture. So you have to ask yourself if it works even though that one element might off.”

I went and scrolled through his website. Most pictures were very neatly composed, sharp, and in-focus. There were a few here and there that were slightly out of focus and a few more that were completely out of focus. But they were still beautiful. Never for a second did I think, “Why is that featured on his website?” It was totally obvious why they were featured: They were beautiful even though they were not totally precise. 

This was eye-opening for me- and for reasons that had very little to do with photography. According to this photographer’s way of seeing, he tried to get as close to perfection as possible, but, the proximity to perfection in and of itself does not determine beauty. What I mean is this: his completely out of focus pictures are just as beautiful (more so, in some cases) than those that are either a. technically perfect (and precise) or b. a lot closer to being technically perfect. 

This is true in other artistic mediums as well. Picasso could paint photorealistic images if he wanted to- but his unique contribution, and what was truly beautiful, was his abstract work that looks, dare I say, like a child could do it. 

Jimi Hendrix, Jerry Garcia, and Bob Dylan are all notoriously sloppy guitar players. The technical precision is not there. But they all created culture-shifting music that was, objectively, beautiful.

I wonder if this concept could be applied to faithful life. I don’t know about you, but I spent many years trying to figure out how to be a precise Christian. A technically perfect Christian. The kind that hit all the right notes, and never a wrong one, and in the proper order and at the correct time. Much of this was done out fear. What if I hit a wrong note? Won’t that ruin things?

Of course, that’s not the question we ask when it comes to our lives. We ask, “What if I’m not hearing God’s voice? What if I’m not following his call? What if the thing he wants me to do is the thing I absolutely do not want to do? What if I mess up my call? What if I’ve missed my call?” And so on and so on. 

Like I said, I don’t know if you’re like me, but, if you are, you have been worried at times about this kind of technical precision and had some measure of fear about the consequences for missing the mark. 

But what if missing the mark is beautiful in its own way? An out of focus picture has a rawness to it- an almost vulnerable quality that helps you feel as if that picture was taken in a real moment in time (as opposed to a technically perfect portrait taken in a studio where you get no such sense of time or place). 

Bob Dylan’s early albums are earnest and sincere because he isn’t strictly controlling the tempo of his songs, and he occasionally makes a picking error, and because his voice doesn’t sound like it’s from the heavens. But they’re beautiful because they sound like a real, live person whose soul is tortured by the violence of this world. You wouldn’t get that with technical precision. 

Perhaps your flaws and your missteps aren’t things that make you less lovable. Perhaps they put you more in touch with yourself, your friends, your family, your spirituality, and so on. Perhaps they helped shift you closer to the person you want to be. Perhaps, because of this, they’re beautiful. 

With faith, technical precision isn’t the goal. We’re trying to get in the ball park. Does this mean we don’t try to improve? Of course not. I’m quite certain Picasso, Hendrix, Dylan, etc. all worked tirelessly on their craft. But they also knew that falling short of the goal wasn’t a problem. In fact, falling short was often more beautiful because it put all of us more in touch their humanity, and with our own. 

I wonder if you could view your own journey the same way. What if the signs of your humanity aren’t problems- but, instead, are beautiful opportunities to connect. 

What would this change for you?