No One is Asking You to be Right
I am my biggest limitation. It's true. I make up stories in my head about what I SHOULD do, or the kind of person I COULD be, or the life I MIGHT HAVE HAD IF ONLY.... most of it is just baloney. It turns out that everyone has limitations. Even I, with all mine, has not been powerful enough to ruin my children.
Last week we had our annual Memorial Day family gathering. The grandkids are at the stage where you can take your eyes off them for 3 seconds without them choking on a screw or choking each other. I built them a fort in the back yard made of sheets and towels thrown over a dome-like jungle gym structure that they climb on and fall off of on a regular basis. They loved their little cozy fort.
The big kids - all the rest of us, played pickle ball on a court drawn quite precisely by the resident engineer in the family. Scott and I acted as his assistants and we really did try to keep our mocking to a minimum over his precision and laser focus on getting it perfect. We ate a simple meal that included a new recipe from my sister-in-law, who we affectionately call Chef ShooFly because she is an excellent cook and one of the littles called her that years ago and it stuck. We had a discussion on labor unions (with many different perspectives at the table) and I can only speak for myself - I learned a ton.
My joy is complete - to see the way my family respected each other even with the diversity that has bloomed as the years have started to pile up and kids have turned into adults. It occurs to me that with all the things I regret about the way I parented, the thing I love about being a parent is that somewhere along the line someone managed to convey to my children that no one is asking any of us to be right or deny their limitations. No one has to be certain that their opinion should and must prevail.
I don't know who taught them these things, but I am so grateful to learn by watching them live a life of unconditional positive regard for one another. My optimism for future generations grows as I see how this next generation is modeling these truths for their children. So just in case no one has told you recently - your limitations are not a problem. Everyone has them. Tomorrow we'll talk about how to manage them.
