Navigating Your Growth Path

When I got to the end of my rope and let go, it did not mean I gave up. I continued to practice the things that I ask others to do in recovery - exercise, eat healthily, get sleep, phone a friend, ask for hugs, lean in. But I also knew that I needed MORE.

So I reassessed. I acknowledged how difficult things actually were for me. I told my friends. I spilled the beans to my husband. I even told my kids. This was not natural nor was it voluntary. It was my children who first called my attention to my despair, "Mom, you do not seem yourself." Over and over they said it until I could agree.

Next, I tried to apply what I would tell someone else in my situation. I spent one day in front of a roaring fire with an afghan and a bottomless up of coffee (decaf). I decided that I was standing at a crossroads and although I did not know which road to travel, I accepted that I was staring into the face of opportunity.

I also chose to study the masters, my friends who do hard things well. What I noticed is that the suffering ultimately can be beneficial and I couldn't help but notice that doing HARD things seems to build more muscles than doing EASY things. I want to be strong in a healthy way. I do. I do not want to live with a vague sense that I have somehow allowed myself to be a victim of my circumstances.

So what could I do? Stay tuned. But before you leave, think about who you want to be - do you want to be the person who would rather change their circumstances so that they feel more comfortable or do you want to be the kind of person who is willing to change yourself and shift your goals as needed to continue on a growth path?