We Cannot Give What We Do Not Have

You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Because it’s only when we love ourselves that we feel worthy of someone else’s love.

Alyssa B. Sheinmel

When I first heard about “self love” all I could think of was narcissism. For many reasons, I have spent my whole life hoping this was NOT a trait I would carry with me in life. So I scoffed at this idea of loving one’s self. I resisted it. I feared it.

If “learning to love yourself” sounds more like psycho-babble than a thing to you, ok, I get it. But I have found new words that resonate more with me that capture this idea that we cannot give away what we do not possess. How about this?

You cannot respect others if you do not know how to respect yourself. You will not require others to respect you, if you cannot lead the way in showing them how.

You cannot treat others with dignity unless you require others to treat with the dignity you plan to return.

You cannot recognize the inherent worth of others unless you recognize and celebrate your own inherent worth.

We cannot give what we do not have.

So if loving yourself, although biblical, feels just a smidge out of reach - try these principles on and see if progress can be made!