Creating a change-friendly world
What the heck is unconditional positive regard? Pretty much what we might expect: Unconditional. Positive. Regard. The capacity to treat others with unconditional positive regard matters because it so happens that this kind of foundational starting point for relationships is CRUCIAL to creating an environment that is change-friendly.
Why does this matter? Because if we are to love well, build community and create a network of friendships that can stand the test of time and trauma, the people in this network will need to CHANGE often and regularly. This won’t need to be forced or coerced. In this environment we will all feel safe and secure enough to challenge our own assumptions. We will listen for listening’s sake and learn from one another. We will impact some folks and we will be impacted by people in a way that inspires change.
Recently Scott used a personal example in a weekend message. He said that he was going to practice DOING kindness more often. I was so inspired by that idea. I decided to look intentionally for random ways to do kind things for strangers and friends alike. The neighborhood children will soon get a batch of sugar cookies I made them. I gave a complete stranger a barstool because she needed it and I had bought one more than would fit in my space. I chose NOT to speak harshly to a friend of mine who did a really boneheaded thing that impacted me greatly. This was my Monday and the day was glorious. NONE of this happens unless I am listening, learning, leaning into the possibility that I am often wrong and always in need of change. Without feeling secure? I am too distracted to stop and make cookies; I will not take time to talk to a stranger and hear of her dream to become a hair stylist in need of a swivel barstool. I will not pause to listen carefully and I will fail to recognize that my friend’s mistake is the same kind of mistake I have made countless times before and will no doubt do many times more.
