I do not know how it works, do you?

In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, readers are told that resentment is a destructive force that has killed more alcoholics than drinking. Resentment is a repetitive feeling. It takes the experience of anger and removes it from its appropriate attachment to a specific event and drags it along with us until it turns into resentment. It’s what happens when we fail to deal appropriately with anger and keep bringing our past emotion into our present day living. Anger is a helpful emotion. It teaches us and guides us.

For example, I was angry about an event last week and I noticed it. I got curious. Why did this “thing” elicit such a strong reaction in me? I learned stuff about myself and it was helpful. Turns out the event was not really significant. But the anger that it triggered showed me a whole different area of my life that needed some attention.

Our emotions are supposed to do that for us. Teach us stuff about ourselves. Raise our awareness. Give us cues that help us address issues before they become chronic problems.

Resentment is not helpful. It coats us in a shell with a hardened veneer. It obfuscates reality.

When I feel resentment, I am unlikely to notice my part in the harming process. How about you? Do you have a veneer of resentment clouding your perception?