Check in with Your Brain
The human brain is amazing, but not without its own limitations. Our brain, which loves to find patterns so that it can predict things, prefers predicting more than accuracy. Last night, after another rousing game of tennis, Pete said, "It is so weird, I hit a certain shot and my muscle memory causes my body to relax because you have NEVER gotten that shot back in our life...and now you return it!" This is brain bias. Fifty years of playing tennis together (I know! That's a long time!!) and his body/brain connection KNOWS what I'm not able to do. But guess what? I'm DOING different! I'm returning some of those shots and that man is standing there flat-footed, all relaxed in his tennis superiority.
Pete's brain and body have not caught up with the new reality around here. And he knows it, but cannot change it! This is the power of brain bias. Our brain behaves like this because it craves certainty. That is efficient, it requires our brain to not get over-heated while considering multiple options.
But a brain that is certain, but incorrect, is a brain that is making less-than-ideal decisions. The brain feels better about everything because nothing is threatened. But the human that is housing the brain is living with handicaps they do not even know about!
The current problem Pete has is an unresponsive body after he plays particular shots on the tennis court. If he hits a short ball cross-court, he assumes I cannot get to it fast enough. If he hits a high lob back to the baseline, he assumes I am going to flub the return.
This USED to be true. Not so much now. Pete is beginning to recognize (because he is humble and contrite of heart) that he has a better problem that he is responsible to address. The better problem is that he gets to hit the ball another time because I am going to return it. The old problem was that if he managed to hit the ball in predictable ways, I would lose the point every time. That's fine if you are playing Wimbledon. But we do not have rankings or prize money to fret over. We want to play a fun, competitive, game with lots of rallies.
The new problem is a better problem because it is more in line with our core values - lots of rallies. Pete will no doubt overcome his brain/body's sluggish reactions to his new, improved opponent. This is a new and better problem.
I bet your brain has some situations that are similar - habitual ways of thinking, believing, feeling, reacting, behaving. These habits are netting you predictable problems. Dare to dream! Wake up and discover that your brain, though lovely, has it limits and with less certainty, you might discover new, more interesting problems to solve.
