Are You Trying to Change the Wrong Things?

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

There are times in life, of course, when things are mostly outside of our control, which is to say, our influence over these events is small but we have some level of permission to attempt to influence them.  There are things that are mostly within our control (we have permission to influence and our potential to influence is high).  As far as this particular discussion goes, I'm not concerned with these grey areas.  I'm choosing to ignore them.  I'm not doing so because I doubt they exist (I believe they do), I'm ignoring them because they don't draw the worst out of us in ways that encounters with absolute powerlessness do.  

We are keeping our focus on the distorted illusion of control that comes from our encounters with powerlessness.  I know that this is the area where I need the most work.  I suspect I'm not alone.  

Present Scott’s attack on Past Scott:

Past Scott was very hard on people who struggle to make changes. Control, and our frustration around control, is what happens when we’re struggling to live a life we’re excited to live. I suppose, if I were to rephrase the above in a less shaming way, I’d say that we don’t always choose well when it comes to where we focus our energy in life when we’re frustrated with how life is going. In other words, we often try to change the wrong things. 

So I have some more questions for you:

What is something you’d like to be doing more of in your current life?

What are some relationships you’d like to spend more of your energy on?

What are some things that bring you joy that you don’t do as much of anymore?