What Does Thriving Look Like for You?
I've offered a few suggestions that researchers tell us is helpful when it comes to completing the stress cycle. We give our body what it needs and allow it to respond as needed. Many of these suggestions I have practiced and continue to practice. Most of the time they work; sometimes they were not quite enough.
Here's a suggestion as to how to tell the difference. For people who are aware of their body and its responses, just know. They experience a shift in mood or a relaxation of a physical tension. They feel relaxed.
For me, I had let so much stress accumulate inside me that although I could feel a bit better, I could not resolve my internal stress. I am also not particularly aware of my body and even when I am aware of my anxiety, I assume it is part of my identity and there was nothing that could be done about it except to power through. There came a point when I knew that my little engine COULD NOT keep going. I turned to trusted others for more intense support. (For the record, anxiety is NOT part of my identity!)
These experts in not only surviving but thriving taught me that incremental healing was still making progress. I began to celebrate the small victories and stay mindful of my need to close my stress cycle. This sounds like it took a conversation and a daily fifteen minute practice. It did not. This took years to figure out - over a year of serious work, built upon a foundation of years of other work. It took years for me to come to grips with what my stressors were without making excuses for them and doubling down on trying harder. Today, I notice stressors, I pay attention to how I survive them AND I understand that I need to intentionally find ways to close the cycle by letting my body know that I am not just surviving. This is not some 20 second endorsement, this is the by-product of years of work with small, incremental progress...until one day, I felt the shift. This shift is in my body, but as I said, it was a long time coming.
I repeat: this is not a simple fix. Next, I had to figure out what thriving meant to me. Just me. No one else got a vote. This was the hardest and best part of my Humpty Dumpty self being put back together again.
What about you? What would thriving look like for you?
