Mirror, Mirror
My grandchildren are learning how to throw amazing tantrums. During our traditional Sunday lunch, Scott instructed his daughter to sit up in her chair. Norah considered this cruel and unusual punishment and let us all know by sliding out of her chair onto the floor and melting down in a toddler tantrum. I noticed her cousin giving her the side eye with a little smile thrown in for extra charm.
“Christian, what do you think of that?” I ask, nodding toward Norah.
“Norah is having a fit Meme. She needs a snack or a nap.” he replies.
“Yeah, but what do you think about it? Where do you think she learned her moves?”
“I dunno,” he shrugs and shows all the indications of a male child quickly losing interest in a subject his grandmother finds fascinating.
“Dude, those are all your moves! She is TOTALLY imitating you!”
A troubling look of possible self-realization passes over his cherubic face and then he makes his counter move. “No way Meme! I do not do that!”
“Oh, yes you do my friend. This is what it looks like when you have trouble leaving Meme and Pop’s house, or when Mom gives you consequences. If you don’t like this way of handling problems, we could talk about new ways to handle big feelings, just let me know.”
He nods. So often we see (and judge) in others behaviors that we do not recognize in ourselves. Although Christian has yet to take me up on a conversation about coping with big feelings, I did notice this past Sunday that when I gave him his “transition” time warning for heading home, he and I made eye contact as he was lifting up his little foot for a big stomp. He pauses and quietly lowers his foot. He pauses; he nods. He leaves without a whimper at the appointed time. Sometimes it helps to look into a mirror of sorts
Do you like what you see in your mirror? Are there any behaviors, beliefs, or attitudes that you find particularly annoying in others? Can you find some common ground? If so, we might also find more empathy for others and maybe a gentle impetus to change a few things in ourselves.
A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.
Ken Keyes Jr.
