Damage Control…

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

From yesterday:  If we can answer questions like this then, hopefully, we gain some insight into what kinds of things are likely to send us spiraling out of control. 

If we gain some insight into what kinds of things are likely to send us spiraling out of control then we can begin to mentally prepare ourselves for our own reactions.  If we can prepare, then we can begin to create space to choose (within reason)  a response to our reactions (as opposed to simply reacting to our reactions).

I know, I know- this sounds too easy.  In many ways, it is too easy.  We’re not always going to be able to choose a response.  Some triggers are so powerful and so deeply ingrained that the only way to come to grips at all is to do meaningful work with a therapist of a long period of time.  The point is not that we can learn how to gain control of ourselves when we’re powerless.  The point is that gaining awareness may make some of our roughest edges a little bit smoother.  

We may learn to “limit the damage.”

2021 Scott chiming in:

Being able to choose a response requires a few things- some practice being mindful about when we’re “triggered,” some safety in the relationship where we’re triggered, some sense of safety in general, and some techniques for calming ourselves down, including some helpful distractions we can engage in to get out of the triggered moment.

Again, this is a big topic- and we’ll find ways to explore it more in the future.