What Will it Take?

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

In retrospect, I can see how I instinctively, subconsciously, choose fights with Brittany as a way to regain a sense of control in my life as I encounter powerlessness.  I do this because my grief, which is un-addressed and unresolved, needs an outlet.  And so I instinctively choose to push someone else down which, in turn, allows me feel comfortable again (or more comfortable anyway) because I have control over something (even if it's something small).  

Do you see the problem?  I hope so.  

I have now made it much more difficult for us to bind together in our grief, process together, and increase our intimacy because I'm settling for a false sense of comfort and control by dealing with my grief only accidentally.  

Scott’s 2021 revisit of this post:

As I said yesterday, I don’t think it’s much help to try to figure out our subconscious. Instead, I asked you to consider what you would like to stop doing (or maybe we could also say start doing) in your life, today, right now. 

Here’s an additional question- what would it take in order to make that change? Do you need to workout? How often? Do you (like me) need more alone time? How much? Do you need a hobby? What would you like to do (or what would you like to get back to)? Do you need more connection? Who could you reach out to?